Tag Archives: #selfhelp

Dealing with feeling ghosted, lonely or over-missing someone

I understand that this quarantine must have been particularly hard. And I can only imagine how much more frustrating it can feel if you have been ghosted by someone, or if you feel as though a love interest has been withdrawing, or even if you feel obsessed with someone who isn’t actually reciprocating interest.

I’ve been there too. We all have been actually, at one stage or the other in our lives. Looking at our phones. Watching the minutes tick by. Waiting for who we thought was “the one” to pop into our inbox.. or maybe our snapchat… hell, at least our instagram DMs! I remember what the panic feels like, the confusion, the frustration, and the deep desire to keep it all to myself for a fear of my friends getting irritated with me talking about this person for the umpteenth time. And no, it’s not embarrassing. It is just a part of growing up. We experiment & experience, make mistakes and learn from then and finally, we EVOLVE and laugh back at these moments which were actually nothing but just a passing shower.
So you are not alone in this, we have all been through this and we have only come out more stronger and you shall too, JUST BELIEVE!

I know it’s not fun to experience it either. It’s not like you want to. You just.. do. Let me tell you why you do: you were raised to feel as though the people who don’t have the capacity to give you affection, time, and care are the people that love you. This is why we do inner child work. To navigate deep-rooted false truths like this one. So here are some quick tips to deal with the feeling of being ghosted or disconnected from someone during quarantine:

1. Remember that the strong attraction you feel to this person is most likely not attraction but instead, it is familiarity. How do I know this? Because someone who is interested in you would not be hot and cold with their communication with you. No one is perfect, but I’ll tell you what. Relationships are not built on fear, rejection, and confusion- you don’t have to repeat your childhood dynamics. When people care about you, they communicate with you. Maybe this person doesn’t have the ability to do that. This doesn’t make them a bad person. This makes them a person who is not in alignment with what you want. So there is absolutely no need to spend hours thinking about whether they love you or not cause if they really do, you would not even have to question yourself or even others about it, for that matter. Simple as that.

2. Remember that the fear of rejection is what is behind the whole obsession. Getting ghosted reminds you of how you felt as a child. Maybe your parent worked many hours. Maybe they didn’t pay attention to your needs. Maybe- or likely- both. This painful memory actually drives the desire to latch on to the very people that reject us. Remember this, them ghosting you has nothing to do with you and everything to do with what is going on with them which could involve a MULTITUDE of things from not being ready for commitment to having to deal with their own childhood trauma or maybe just prioritising their career or any other thing above the whole dynamics of relationships.

3. Remember that infatuation affects our logic. Literally, when we like someone it’s almost as if our logic is turned OFF. We can’t think straight! Suddenly everything is possible and everything makes sense- even when it doesn’t! Consciously remind yourself that a bunch of hormones are circulating through your body that may just be throwing off your logic. Get a journal and write down all the reasons you know this person wouldn’t be the best match for you based on your previous not so great experiences to help bring your logic to the forefront. Cause love  should have nothing to do with logic, whereas infatuation or that attraction feeling is centred around adversely affecting our logical thinking.

4. Remember that this infatuation with the emotionally unavailable person only lasts a season. Even though it feels like you’ll NEVER stop thinking about them or that you won’t get over them trust me, you WILL. I have. I know people who have and you shall too, you just need to believe in yourself and start working towards your own best interest. Especially if you start with following the above steps!

5. Nurture your bond with your friends and family instead because Family is where life begins and love never ends. Seek serenity in them till you learn to make peace with your solitude. Facetime them a bit more if they aren’t close by. Text them instead and watch how organically you heal your wounds in the warmth and comfort of your “actual” loved ones.

I hope these helped! And I hope you remember to re-direct your attention back to yourself as opposed to keeping it directed towards that emotionally unavailable person who doesn’t have the ability to see you for all your truly worth.

I hope you make it your daily ritual to show love to yourself- to make knowing yourself your highest priority.
Cause at the end of the day, you are your truest companion! Make sure you shower enough love and affection on *that companion* with whom you would be 24/7 spending the rest of your life.

P.S~ Major inspiration for this article has been my all time favourite “The Self Love Fix” podcast on Google.

🌸Towards being vocal about Mental Health🌸

I am sure we are all shocked, deeply gutted and extremely upset by the news. It’s so difficult to register and almost feels like a personal loss.


A person who looks so content, oozing happiness and vitality in every media gathering attended, amongst each and every small interaction he had and yet somehow we couldn’t figure out what is going on inside the mind of that person. Does it signify our inability to interpret emotions?. I guess, partly it does, but the underlying truth is that people have become so good at pretending and concealing their true innermost thoughts. I think this is where the root of the suffering lies.
Why can’t we be honest? Why can’t we be transparent?.
If we are vulnerable, let us not shy away from the insecurities. Instead we should talk and communicate and just vent out our feelings. Afterall, we have always got so many people around. They may be our friends, colleagues, parents and even if you feel that you are the unluckiest soul on the planet that you don’t have any confidante.
‎Don’t get disheartened dear. Just go and immerse yourself in the divine and you’ll find peace there but you need to acknowledge the fact that you are not alone first. It’s about these initial, little steps towards attaining peace.

Life is so fickle. Practice gratitude daily🙏🏻 you never know what the next moment has in store for you.

Depression and anxiety comes from a set of fluctuating thoughts centered at negativity and that is also quite normal, happens with everyone but varies in terms of intensity and emotional support received. I think it’s really important to to SHARE so that it doesn’t even reach that stage (of suicide) and you never know you can save a lot many lives and maybe your even your own. Let usall be just be nice and kind to everybody around. Even if the person doesn’t seem to be in need, let us always try and radiate positivity and benignity, through our words, to every person that we encounter with cause we never know if that person really needed to hear those words. We might save a life by just being kind so that there’s no room for any regrets.

Sushant starred in the movie Chhichhore and he himself delivered many dialogues regarding how to combat the suicidal thoughts but somehow when you get trapped in the bubble of negativity, you just can’t find a way out. But what we fail to understand is that light is always present, we just need to make an effort to step out of that room of darkness and that cannot be done alone. You need some amount of strength, encouragement and support and that is what your family members are for.

‎It’s time that we learn to be as vocal as possible about mental health and if you feel you cannot afford professional help, then it’s completely okay. There are even numerous pages on Instagram who are there to hear what you want to say without even mentioning about your name. The trick is that when you just let it out of your heart it then just vanishes and you feel so light, so relieved. I am sure you must have experienced this. All I want to say is that life is so precious. It is a gift to us by the almighty and we simply don’t have any right to end what is not created by us. We are the manifestation of the Supreme itself. Feel it, let the power fill the void within. Let us all remember that there’s always a sunrise following the sunset.


My loveliest hugs to all the mental health survivors out there who are fighting a constant battle with themselves and emerging out stronger than ever. You guys are the real heroes and inspiration to so many, trust me. I hope Sushant’s soul rests in the peaceful bliss which we couldn’t give him or he himself couldn’t find in this world.

And THIS🙏🏻

Sharing another heartfelt *string of thoughts* by not a star TV actress or winner of Bigg Boss 12, but a fan of the passed soul!

View this post on Instagram

🙏🏻

A post shared by Dipika (@ms.dipika) on

Breakup: Is it always negative? Or is it how we make it?

The very thought of losing someone you love is heartbreaking. But change is meant to happen. It is the rule of the universe. There are some changes that are completely out of our control, where we can do nothing about how it happens. For example death of someone you love. But there are and will be situations where you can actually play a vital role in shaping the change.

I have written a poem on one such change in my life. I learnt that “it will be happy, if you want it to be. This poem is about a different kind of happy ending, not the cliche ones we see in movies. Life isn’t the way movies shows it to be. Hope you find this poem inspirational and in future acknowledge the pain and think how you can make it better. Remember: you and only you can make yourself happy. Even when you believe that a specific person is giving you happiness, its not them, its you, because you want them to. You choose how you want to live and that does not mean that you won’t get into trouble. Getting hurt, experiencing pain, any kind of loss, might not be in your hands but how you react to it, how you want to overcome it is surely in your hands.

A different kind of happy ending

I fell in love with the way you cared,
Even though I was immensely scared,
Cause all the ones I had known, left me alone,
Then all I got to hear was that, I am made of stone,
But you seemed different,
Kindness, selflessness and patience was all I could see,
“Epitome” , I presumed you to be
No you were not perfect, but you were all that I needed,
When every night my heart bleeded,
I pushed you away but you didn’t leave,
Cause ‘a pashmina of love’ you wanted to weave,
I fell for you deeper and deeper ,
But didn’t realize that the relationship was getting steeper and steeper,
I wanted to understand you and give my all,
But didn’t understand why you had started building a wall,
Those eyes that once couldn’t stop looking at mine,
Somehow didn’t find enough time,
I reckoned you were busy,
But couldn’t help feeling dizzy,
Cause it had been a long time I had been on my own,
Waiting for your text, I used to sleep holding my phone,
I realized, the construction of the wall was complete,
Cause your feelings for me had become obsolete,
But your happiness was all I prayed for,
And didn’t wanted to make my heart sore,
I left you and tried to move on,
But my heart was all torn,
I somehow gathered courage and worked on become strong,
Thought by then you would have forgotten me, but I was wrong,
You called me and wanted to talk to me all night,
And made my dark heart all bright,
You said you missed me, and how you would have kissed me,
But what all you said after that somehow pissed me,
You said we are a different world, and I want it to be happy,
Don’t mind whatever I said, because my thoughts had become scrappy,
Somewhere we both were wrong,
We acted as if we were high on bong,
We couldn’t make it last long, but lets proove the world wrong,
Lets make it the best breakup,
So that we are happy and peaceful when we wake up.

Why do we hate people? Can we really hate them? Read on to know more.

Firstly let’s understand that HATE is a very strong emotion to be expressed and a very strong word to be used for anyone irrespective of whatever the person may have done. Hence, the pre-eminent truth lies in acknowledging the fact that we can never truly hate anybody because we, human beings are created by the supreme to offer only Love. Then how can we even possibly do or feel something which is in absolute contradiction to the purpose of our life and creation. So let this thing be fitted into your mind that you cannot dislike anybody even to a mammoth extent to be able to call it as hatred.


Notwithstanding, I do understand that sometimes other people’s wrongdoings often break our heart, ache our soul take a toll on our mental well being by gigantic amounts  that we don’t know what to do now and we feel like we have been ditched. And it’s an observable pattern that often people who are very close to our heart, they may be our parents, siblings, best friends or partner; only hurt us in deepest ways unimaginable. We try to mend the broken ties and we fail again because we just can’t forget what they did to us, let alone the act of forgiving them. Then we go on to categorise this feeling of heartbreak and give it a label as “hatred”. I hate that somebody, I hate him for making me go through hell, I hate my friend she ditched me etc.


But have you ever tried to look deep into our own self? I have and I tried to figure out the reason behind the hatred only to realise that nobody else can make us feel a certain way. We can only feel what we choose to, be it the feeling of positivity & love, anger & hatred or anything in general. So now that we have a choice to accept and reject either gold (positive thoughts) or coal (negative thoughts); What are you going to choose? Doesn’t it make the choice really simple?
My dear friend, just try and let this thought go off your mind that you are feeling hurt/broken by anybody’s ill actions and feed this piece of information within that you have forgiven them. You’d find out that it actually works, that is the power of the subconscious mind. Your mind is like a servant and you are the BOSS so make sure you instruct it to feel happy and peaceful and slowly but steadily, let go of all the grudges.

At times the heart would find it difficult to accept it again but remember that you just cannot give up.
for you have to be the person who breaks the cycle:
If they mis-judged you, choose understanding and compassion.
if they rejected you, try and learn to accept yourself with all the flaws.
Be the person you needed when you felt the pain, the agony and the hurt and not the one who hurt you. Realise that those people are full of hatred and you don’t want to become just like them so that they become successful in their attempt of hurting you. But first, also forgive them only then you would be able to do justice to yourself else you will be caught up, quite unknowingly, in a bubble of revenge and pessimistic behaviour which would only deter your growth. Also, know that the process is slow and tiring but deeply satistifying and fruitful. So just don’t give up!
Lastly, Shine so bright and be so full of love that they go on to repent for their wrongdoings and that would be your ultimate success. I wish you all the very best in this journey of self love and healing.

5 tips you must follow if you’re quarantining with a narcissistic personality

Hey everyone, This time around, I’m coming with some very raw & real tips. If you are spending your quarantine with a narcissist or an emotionally abusive person, I know how uneasy, frustrated, and drained you must feel. You may feel as though you are walking on eggshells- anticipating what you may or may not have to expect from this person. Because of this, I want to be here as a resource to give you tips on how you can keep your peace and weather this storm:

1. NO MATTER HOW MUCH THEY TRY TO ENTICE YOU INTO AN ARGUMENT, YOU MUST STAY NEUTRAL & UNREACTIVE. 
You might be saying, “But! they are so hurtful! All they do is pick me apart and tear me apart! I have to say something back”. I get you. I have been there. But, what if I told you narcissists get their energy and their sense of self from your attention- negative or positive. No matter if the attention is negative or positive it communicates the same message to them- it communicates to them that they are important. This is what they seek. A sense of importance. So my tip to you is to be like a grey rock- neutral, unreactive, & boring. One word answers like “okay” and “sure” “yes” and “no” will take you far. I promise if you do this enough times you will start to notice they bother you less than usual. Why? Because they can’t get much out of you. I know this will be tough but remember one thing, you don’t have to defend yourself against them- they won’t hear you anyway.

2. IMAGINE A MIRROR IS IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE WHEN THEY SPEAK NEGATIVELY TOWARDS YOU. 
The narcissist is incredibly critical, you know this and you know how painful it can be. Remember this, as they criticize you, they are really just projecting how they feel about themselves to you. They hold themselves AND unfortunately, you, to an impossible standard. Understand that they cannot tell the difference between you and themselves. They believe everyone is an extension of themselves. This is why I say to imagine a mirror is in front of your face when they speak to you, because it will help you consciously remember that as they are criticizing you, they are really criticizing themselves. I promise, none of what they are saying about you is true.

3. DO SOMETHING THAT ONLY INVOLVES YOURSELF, DAILY. 
This is critical. This is huge. This is for your sanity. This helps you ground within yourself and stay rooted within yourself. Take a walk for a couple of minutes per day, take an extra long shower or bath, and/or do some yoga/stretches. These all sound like simple suggestions, I know, but try it. You’ll see how much of a difference it makes in remembering how much you and your peace matters- and is within your reach.

4. AFFIRM YOURSELF EVERY MORNING.
 Affirm that you know your experiences are valid. Affirm that you know you are not going crazy. Affirm that even if you are the only one who is aware of the discord going on within your home- your experiences are real and true. Affirm that eventually you will get out of this situation and that this situation will not get a hold of you. For more affirmations, make sure you check out my inner child healing affirmations and meditations here.

5. SOOTHE YOUR INNER CHILD. 
When we feel overwhelmed, frustrated, and even anxious, sometimes it is our inner child feeling triggered by the memories she once experienced during childhood. So when the narcissist in your life triggers those feelings- and subconscious memories, take a moment to be with yourself- when you get the chance- to remind the younger you that the adult you is here now. There is nothing to fear. Remind her how loved and lovable she is and how she will be okay, she’ll make it through.

I hope you implement these tips during quarantine and that you remember that this is just a season, that you are dong the best that you can, and that things may not look as though you want them to now, but they will all get better in a matter of time.

P.S~ The major inspiration for writing this article has been the podcast on Google titled as “The Self Love Fix”. It’s amazing. You all must give it a try.