Alright so here I will be sharing some of my thoughts on how to take those initial steps to embark upon this beautiful journey of practicing self love and compassion on a daily basis.
1) LET GO OF EXPECTATIONS I know this can be tricky and quite hard for most of us because everything that we do has the desire of a certain outcome attached to it and if the outcome is not as expected, disappointments follow which lead to anxiety, it anger and the list of the negative feelings just go overboard. Instead you can have standards you like setting standards is what I allow in my life and what I don’t but don’t expect anything from anyone and from life in general. Try to go with the flow and you will soon start accepting the way you are and the way everyone else is and it being so much of peace, trust me. Just do your job letting go of the desire of the fruit- preached the greatest Lord Krishna in Bhagwad Gita.
2) DON’T TOLERATE ANYBODY’S UNNECESSARY SHIT Now what I actually mean by it is that you are not supposed to bear with anybody projecting their hatred and frustration upon you especially if there are a closed one and if they matter but this just goes out of context if they are just random people on social media or those people whom you don’t considered to be friends. If they talk ill, let them, because their words define them and not who you are. But, on the other hand, if somebody close is treating you badly then you are not supposed to sit quietly and accept it. Rather communicate and gently do that because you don’t want to spoil the relationship, remind yourself that you want to mend the things and yeah thats how it goes. Because your comfort and level of peace has to be your highest priority. And and and, consI just read in a book, sorry can’t recall the name as of now, maybe “Codependent No More”. It said that you only tolerate the level of shit to the extent from others to which you make yourself go through. So be gentle and kind to your own self because if you don’t say anything bad about yourself then you won’t take it from others as well.
3) SETTING AND ENFORCING BOUNDARIES Now this is again a tricky one. Boundaries are often created by us to protect our inner energy and tranquility. As we all know that we are human beings and we can have bad days too. It’s completely normal. So on those days, we might even act quite cold with our loved ones who genuinely care for us so we should the try and communicate with them that we are not in a position to talk rather than just venting out on them. Also, know that it is completely justified to ignore calls, not answer to texts, not be available for every hangout etc if you don’t feel like. You have to protect your little heart and its wishes but not by being rude and non-compassionate and that’s how self love functions.
This article is inspired by The Self Love Fix podcast on Google, make sure that you give it a try.
Oh well! So that’s quite a juicy topic and a very interesting one which is I feel is more of a hush-hush topic, for people know that it exists but they don’t want to admit it publicly, considering it might cause them some sort of an embarrassment or is going to tease their ego a bit and that’s the reason why they are busy silently combating with this one but here I am going to talk about it in a more umm, deeper manner or whatever you may call it.
I am pretty sure that all of us must have experienced jealousy at one stage or the other no matter how much we try to get away with it but I think walking through jealousy is only going to be a successful conquest if, we firstly accept and acknowledge that we have been at points, jealous in our life post which almost 70% of the job is already done. It’s absolutely normal, just a part of human mindset but is deeply rooted in fear and in lack and know that, the feeling of lack is rooted in ego.
Sometimes it is important for us to deeply analyse our emotions and go an extra mile to try and heal them cause unless we heal them, they are going to keep causing troubles for us, leading to absence of mental peace. So why not go into deeper insights and try and figure out how jealousy looks like. It is the general idea that can be taken from the help of sentences that people generally use; I hate that she has those things, Why does she have them? I wish I had them. Why is he with her? I think I look much better than that girl. Look at me, my Life. I don’t have all these things. I don’t have this money. I don’t have a boyfriend. I don’t have xyz and the list would go on and on unless we choose to accept it and embrace ourselves and practice more and more self love and compassion. Might sound difficult at first, but is not impossible.
If somebody has something, we need to regard it as a blessing bestowed upon them. For the enormous amounts of hard work that they must have been upto all those years of their life, somewhat like the quote “Work hard in Silence and let your success make the noise”. We don’t know, we aren’t aware how incredibly hard circusmstances they would have endured, how many failures they had to overcome and when the time has come for them to enjoy the reward, the fruit of long years of toiling hard and struggles, what are we doing to them? Are we really being compassionate here? Are we really wishing them luck and positivity. Are we really being good human beings here?No, by being jealous and envious, we arez on top of it, trying to tarnish their success by throwing away negativity and jealousy is a negative vibe. Let’s accept it.
So try and make a smooth transition from jealousy to being inspired by that someone, to that extent, where you also want to work hard to earn that fruit and for that, know that, you would also have to put in the equal amount of hardwork, absorb in the pressure and only then you will be rewarded because if you want to chill in an air conditioned room, you would first have to know the experience of being burnt under the sun. Because, my dear, nothing in this world is ever free of cost. You have to endure some amount of “pain” in order to get some “gain” and notice that when you channelize your entire energy towards this process of trying to gain something, trying to work work hard and fulfill your dreams & desire post setting up goals and following your passion, you would find yourself engulfed in a bubble of positivity and there would just be no room for negativity and even if there are some other things which make you feel low and jealous and if the self doubt tends to creep in, don’t worry. Just soothe your inner child, comfort it and with a tranquil state of mind, affirm and say that I have been working hard and I am sure if I don’t give up right now, I will also get what I truly deserve. Also, be mindful enough to not say that “I will also get to match up with that someone”. That’s where comparison comes into play and this is what leads to jealousy. So remember, that as long as you hold love and compassion in your heart, nothing negative can impact you. I hope it helped.
As promised, the final part of the #LockdownDating series is here. Hope you all have a fun time reading.
11) A NETFLIX DATE Go on binge on your favourite series together with your loved one by your side and enjoy it to the fullest. Keep the romance rekindling with feeding each other popcorns loaded with extra cheese. Whatta cheesy date, right? But trust me, does wonders!
12) A RECREATING THE WEDDING DAY DATE If you are a married couple then you must be having the dresses that you wore on your big day for the nuptials. What’s the wait for? Get them on and re-dress as bride and groom and relive your wedding day. Because, unlike that day, you would not be so nervous and shy today but alike a confident duo out on a date. Let’s recreate the magic of the day when you two officially became ONE and for life! 13) A KIDS STUDY DAY DATE Usually it happens that one of the parents is made responsible for taking care of the child’s studies. But have you thought how interesting and fun it would be if both the parents teach their kid together. This way they would not only understand the child better but also themselves better as the parents of their little one. Family time is calling guys because as I said life is emminently about the simple joys in the company of your loved ones and very little of what is too fancy. I included this point so that your child does not feel neglected with the overflowing of romance between his parents.
14) A PAINTING DATE Grab an old T-shirt or a bed sheet and do a couple activity of painting together. Take those brushes, paints and let the colour of love unleash and unfold upon the pale fabric which is now coloured beautifully through your love. As much as you will enjoy the process, you would even cherish the outcome, the masterpiece which you would have created.
15) A SWIMMY DATE If you have a pool in your bungalow, what’s the waiting for? Slip in your sassy skin-fitting swimsuit, wear that fancy hat and those nice sunnies. Get ready to be tanned by not only just the sun but also by the love of your life. Going skinny-dipping can be a wild move but who ever said no to it?
So I hope you got some really innovative ideas on how you can keep the spark in your relationship alive even when you can’t get access to materialistic things (very relatable with the present situation of Covid 19). You cannot gift anything to your spouse or take him/her out on expensive dates, go for exotic holidaying in lavish resorts but one thing to remember is that true love is expressed from kind gestures that the two do for each other and from within the heart conversations. All these diamond rings, flowers, foreign vacations might bring temporary happiness but love is eternal and that is maintained through the heart’s devotion. All my best wishes and loads of love to all our readers. I pray and hope that you are all staying safe in your homes along with your loved ones. Take care. Bub
Hope you guys checked out my previous article of the #LockdownDating series where I listed down four budget-friendly methods of keeping the spark in your relationship alive during these times of Covid 19. Here are the other few suggestions.
5) A MOVIE DATE Who said that you need to go to a theatre crowded with 50 other people to celebrate you and your partner’s togetherness when you can do it in the privacy of your room itself. Decorate the room with scented candles, get into your comfy pajamas, snuggle closer to your loved one and boom here goes… Watch your favourite movie or maybe a new one together in the warmth of your home & partner’s arms. Works magically for home theatres.
6) A SPORTY DATE Backyard is for out-the-room romance. Everyone is well aware of this but have you ever experimented it practically yourself? If not then go dress up and enjoy playing some sport i.e badminton, gully cricket with your beloved partner. This won’t only keep you fit in a gym-free world right now but also rekindle that dying out flame of romance between you two.
7) A NEW HOBBY DATE No two people are exactly similar no matter how compatible you two are. So why not try and teach other one of your favourite hobbies which your partner admires the most about you. It can be learning to play a guitar, sewing sweaters, baking cookies, lifting weights, trying entangling yoga poses or just anything. Watch how the process of being a mentor to your loved one soon turns into a moment of celebrating love.
8) A CHOP-CHOP DATE Lockdown has kept us from visiting hair salons and I am sure you must have missed out on so many of your appointments. So why not let your love experiment with your hair and give it a fresh, new cut? That way, you’ll free yourself off a monotonous look and also sneak in a few moments of marital bliss. Don’t forget to return this hair stylist favour to your partner too.
9) A MORNING DATE Waking up next to the person you love the most is undoubtedly one of the most calming and grateful feelings ever. Don’t you agree too? Try planting a soft kiss on your partner’s forehead to remind him/her of how serene and blessed you feel to be with him. Go brushing together, snap some cute selfies, have breakfast together and watch your love growing unfathomably.
10) A DRESS-TO-IMPRESS DATE By now you must have been bored in your daily wears even if they are the most comfortable pyjamas on the planet. I know you desperately want to slip into your sassy outfits that you bought long ago, wear those fancy braids, put on that awe-inspiring makeup and woo your partner just like you used to in the pre lockdown era. So what are you waiting for? Make the use of the golden opportunity when your partner is busy working from home on his laptop and get ready to dress to impress and transform a normal evening into a dazzling date.
P.S~ Stay tuned for the last and final part of this article. I am sure it is going to be an interesting one. Hope you all had a fun time reading.
Yes, you heard it all right. I am here with yet another article to make love blossom between you and your partner. With the nationwide lockdown still going on, we presumed that there might have been a temporary hault to the intimacy & romance because you can’t step out for fancy dinner dates or weekend getaways. It must be frustrating since the summers are already here and you just can’t travel. But as they say, Love isn’t just about all fancy and over-the-top things but it is more of those little gestures which make your hearts beat faster for each other because the fairytale has to end one day and the normal life would soon commence so why not try getting used to it from now only by taking pleasure in simple joys of life. So no more worries when we are here to the rescue. Here below are enlisted 15 Budget Friendly Date Ideas that you can do at home and keep the romance brewing. So what’s the waiting for? Let’s get started…
1) A DATE IN THE GARDEN Oh yes who would have thought that planting saplings together could turn out to be so romantic and eco-friendly. If you don’t think so, go try it out for yourself. You can sneak cute, lovable glances while you plant the sapling together, hands closely intact in mud as if solidifying the bond between you two. And if you’re more of a naughty one, try throwing off the mud on your partner and notice the magic of love and romance taking over you. Make an effort to water the plant together each day and watch your love grow alongwith the plant.
2) A DATE IN THE SHOWER All you need is to get your bathrobe on and your partner in his towel. You can sway your hips to some romantic music together and embrace each other under the shower. A glass of wine and rose petals would be like an icing over the cake. Typically bollywood na? Still sounds just oh-so-romantic!
3) A DATE IN THE KITCHEN Tired of cooking everyday with no domestic help available given the current circumstances? Bring that guy along into the kitchen who vowed to stand by your side always and then cook something special or maybe experiment on an altogether new recipe. What could be more romantic than putting flour onto each other, tasting the food through each other’s fingers and savouring the taste of LOVE with some nice music playing at the background!
4) A DATE ON THE TERRACE Thanks to the Indian daily soaps that I don’t need to brief you about this one. I am sure everyone of you is well aware of how the decorations should be, the type of music, the outfits and the couple dance steps. Lastly imagine self-cooked dinner being fed to each other, gazing at the twinkling stars in the bespangled sky and then ending the night in each other’s arms. Ohh! How romantic!
Firstly, a very happy birthday to Shoaib! May Allah bless you with good health!
Now, this article is a result of the “loads of appreciation” embodied within me since long which just kind of overflowed after I saw this video titled as Shoaika Se Sawal on YouTube.
Shoaib Ibrahim and Dipika Kakar Ibrahim need no introduction for they have been the loved faces in one of the highest rated TV shows of that time Sasural Simar Ka and are known for their notable performances in many popular daily soaps. But still, for first time readers, let me start with a brief recap. Dipika was a divorcee. Shoaib and his family whole-heartedly accepted her which should not even raise a question of surprise. I mean, it isn’t fair to judge people based on their past right? What matters is that she is such a loving soul. All of us know this well but not many of us are able to truly implement.
Dipika, despite of being brought up in a contrasting family background (as compared to Shoaib’s), she adjusted herself and became domesticated, living in a joint family, binding the whole family together and mind it, she did not do any of it compromisingly but she says she’s living her dream of being a full-time housewife. And she didn’t do anything special for it is the duty of every wedded woman to spread happiness wherever she goes. Why does it have to be too hard to nurture a bond with in-laws? It’s very simple and should be like that only, Dipika is a living testament to this. How organically she adjusted herself in an environment which could have otherwise been so non-negotiable, all because of her husband’s love and support. That’s how marriage works.
How humble is that of her? She won Bigg Boss 12 (though I didn’t follow the season) but ofcourse have heard things about her journey growing by leaps and bounds. And also, how “some’ people found it difficult to resonate with her because she was too kind or seemed too gentle and “perfect”. Haha! Who is to blame here? None obviously, because those people are embedded in deep roots of darkness (negativity) that their eyes hurt when exposed to the light (positivity) and they yell hard in pain. They deserve compassion not outrage. Says the Greatest, Lord Krishna in Shrimad Bhagwad Gita.
And #Shoaika, the power couple knows this well. Shoaib himself hails from a very humble background and is wary of the struggling days. And what amazes me rather pacifies my heart is that how grounded these two individuals are. I haven’t been following them since forever but I can say that they have always been living a life full of genuine simplicity. They live for just those pure moments of joy and bliss with family. I relate to mammoth extents to this couple and there’s a lot to learn from them. How do they manage to strike a work-life balance almost so effortlessly. Sometimes Shoaib isn’t working but Dipika is but should that make him an object to attract trolls? Well, sadly it happens. “Biwi ki kha raha hai”.
We talk of mental health so openly or rather we have started to talk of it post Sushant’s demise. But these social media bullies are the true culprits taking potshots at someone just because they find others’ happiness too hard to digest. Shoaika talk so wonderfully about this and how they have been dealing with the constant negativity.
But amidst all of this, I’d make a confession here that they have become my “feel good” people especially after Shoaib’s sister chose to upload that video. Watch it here: Shoaika Se Sawal . They radiate so many shades of being amazing human beings. Vitality, Respect for elders, Prioritising Family, Finding happiness in simple joys of life, Keeping the ego at bay, striking a work-life balance, staying motivated and passionate to work ( Dipika reluctantly agreed to do Bigg Boss because HER family, yes, Shoaib’s family was in need) and Shoaib works out so relentlessly hard so that whenever an opportunity strikes his door, he doesn’t lose it, because of being out of shape. You see, how challenging can Entertainment industry be. They aren’t two massively successful people but what matters is that they are happy, at peace, satisfied, guided by mutual love & respect and forever grateful to the almighty and living their life with grace, dignity and LOVE. It just feels nice to see that humans like these exist witnessing all the negativity around. But I was wrong, and I am happy to be proved https://www.instagram.com/p/Bt29ygThSRs/?igshid=cuf4q8jqxzzo wrong.https://www.instagram.com/p/By0Xkxol10L/?igshid=91lcrpsiani9
Nobody’s perfect and so aren’t they but what matters is that they never give up on trying to become better human beings and “effort” is all that matters. My heart feels happy seeing people stay grounded, honest and true to themselves in the warmth & comfort of their loved ones’ embrace. Because Family is where life bgins and love never ends.
Adventure Sports are also popularized as Extreme Sports. Notwithstanding, they are much more than your usual outdoor sports involving intense and also, at times, life threatening actions, thereby giving rise to an adventurous aura around an individual. The basic requirement for Adventure Sports is extraordinary speed, scaling heights, physical exertion in order to ace these death-defying stunts. The popular sports include Rock climbing, Mountaineering Rafting, Scuba Diving, Trekking, Base Jumping, Skiing, Hang gliding, Paragliding, Windsurfing, Skydiving, Kayaking etc.
Ah no, this article is not going to dig too much into the types of adventure sports and numerous ways in which they’re carried out but rather I’ll be here, generalizing the whole concept of adventure sports and taking information, pretty much in detail, about the human mindset and psychological factors which drive one towards taking up those sports and engaging in life thrilling actions.
1) Self Confidence Booster: Individuals who take part in adventure sports are in constant competition with their own selves and therefore they take pride and valour in their achievements upon accomplishing their goals by overcoming fear and experiencing thrill which boosts there morale and uplifts the self confidence.
2) Facing Challenges Against Odd Scenarios:
Adventure Sports help in developing traits which in return, help the individuals to face the challenges and also overcome them against all the odds quite, confidently and efficiently and they come out even stronger than before, as you must have seen in the interviews of some adventurous personalities. Thus, Adventure Sports aids in instilling courage and dedication in the individual.
3) Nurturing The Bond With The Natural Surroundings:
As we all must be well familiar that most of the adventure sports take place amidst the nature which give the participants a chance to explore it’s horizons and thus strengthening that natural bond with the ecology. This happens due to the constant exposure to the natural environment which also results in one becoming more kind & compassionate and learning to co-exist with the planet and its beings, something which we humans have terribly failed at.
4) Proper Utilisation Of Abundant Energy and Ardour:
Adventure Sports encourage the participants to channelise their energy and enthusiasm in the right positive manner which helps in the holistic development and in relieving all kinds of stress and anxiety. Moreover, taking up Adventure Sports also helps the individual in developing habits of extended attention because one goes through a series of absorbing experiences, thereby increasing concentration.
5) In Proving The Statement “Human Being Is A Social Animal” Right To Certain Degrees: Adventure Sports includes hiking, trekking & camping, Mountaineering, rafting, Rock climbing which provide ample opportunities to nourish and recreate social relations because these adventure sports are often undertaken in small teams or groups where one is supposed to interact constantly and communication skills development follows. Notwithstanding, one becomes more kind and open and thus it helps in improving social relations. It helps in stimulating an environment of friendliness, supporting the basic principles of humanity in general. Qualities such as cooperation, helping tendency, mutual understanding, sincerity, patience fraternity, tolerance, sympathy, acceptance are also developed
So, besides the fact that Adventure Sports offer opportunities to push one’s limits, battle it out in the extreme conditions, make full use of the overflowing passion and energy and gain thrill & pleasure; it also helps in shaping the personality of an individual.
“He listened to my idea for a minute, started (resumed) playing the game (on PlayStation) and said, ‘Do what you want, I have complete belief in you.’ And the next day I started bowling over the stumps.” Said Ravichandran Ashwin in an interview with Cricbuzz decoding the strategy of Warner’s dismissal (in Bengaluru Test, 2017) that he had mentally worked out, to his Captain. Need I say anything more about how should a good leader be? “Ashwin had picked up 2 wickets in the first innings including that of Warner and in the second innings he ran through the Australian batting line-up by picking six for 41 as India drew level with a 75-run victory.
India then went on to win the series 2-1.” (Source: Hindustan Times) Virat has, for sure, set some high standards in always backing the instincts of his bowlers and letting them experiment freely, while also chipping in with his valuable inputs and setting the wickets of/field for particular batsmen.
“All three of us — Ishant (Sharma), (Jasprit) Bumrah, and I want to bowl with a new ball. When we are not able to choose, we approach Virat to decide. But he throws the ball back in our court saying whatever you all decide is fine by me,” Shami said. Source: India TV
“We were playing the 3rd Test against Sri Lanka at the Feroz Shah Kotla. It was getting into a draw and Chandimal was batting on 140 or 150, Ash was bowling, Chandimal hit one towards midwicket. It was in the mandatory overs, the match was going to end and he got a 248 in that match if I am not mistaken. And he runs as if his life depended on that ball, picks that ball and does an acrobatic throw,” R Sridhar, The fielding Coach of Team India told FanCode.
“You have a captain, who comes out to fielding practice till the time he is bleeding, I have seen that. There have been times where I would tell him – Virat enough. I have to save Virat from Virat sometimes. You have a captain like that, for me, it’s a dream come true,” he added. Source: cricketaddictor.com
During an exclusive interview on Star Sports Cricket Connected, Gautam Gambhir said, “He was always a very smart cricketer, but then he turned his entire T20 career into a very successful one, just by being supremely fit. Probably because he does not have the strength of Chris Gayle, he doesn’t have the ability of AB de Villiers, he probably does not have the ability of somebody likes Jacques Kallis or Brian Lara. The biggest strength he’s got is now his fitness and he’s turned that into his game as well, that’s why he has become so successful, so you got to give it to the guy. The most important thing is that he runs really well between the wickets, not many people do it.” Source: m.mid-day.com Also checkout: https://internationaljournalofresearch.com/2020/06/09/virat-kohli-the-man-who-brought-about-a-fitness-revolution-in-global-cricket/
“I remember when I was new in the team he backed me a lot. In fact, now also, he is always there for me. He always appreciates your skills and we have a great tuning together,” he further added.
Kuldeep further went on to reveal Kohli’s best quality. “The best quality of Virat is that he also understands the team and its player’s well which makes our job easy on field,” he said.
In an interview also with Hindustan Times, Chahal said that Virat ‘talks me out of the negative mindset’. Even if I am being hit by a batsman, Virat Bhaiya turns to me and talks me out of that negative mindset. That rapport is also there when we play for RCB.
On Star Sports’ show Cricket Connected, Yuzvendra Chahal said, “I have been playing with him for around 6 years now since our RCB days. One thing I have learned is that he is a down to earth person. No matter how much fame he has got, he will take everyone with him — whether it’s personal or on field; that I have learned from him.”
I know that he’s a gym freak and how he has changed his body. I want to learn that from him. I have seen him since he was 18-19- the transformation after 2012 or 2013, if anyone adopts even 30 per cent of what Virat did, it’s more than enough.”
In a recent chat in the fifth episode of ‘The Mind Behind’,
Rahul was questioned which batsman he would pick if he had to select someone to bat for his life. In his reply, the 27-year-old named Kohli as his choice. “I’ll go with Virat because I know, everybody knows he is a great player,” he said. We share a great friendship and he will give it all to save my life”.
“Virat, Rohit (Sharma) or Ravi sir don’t come and teach you the game. They have given me that freedom,” said Hardik Pandya.
“The security that they gave me backing with all their heart helped big time. That was the reason I started taking decisions on my own,” he added
Being blatantly honest here, maximum of these quoted statements of the articles are published within the previous 24 hours only. And if I go on to find more instances to support the fact how great a leader this man is, I’d terribly fail cause there are umpteen number of incidents happening ever since the guy became the Test Captain in 2015 post World Cup and India’s full-time captain in early 2017 and there are a lot more bound to happen provided that he stays motivated & passionate, which I know, you know, whole of India knows and the entire cricketing fraternity knows too, that he would and the blessings from the God keep outpouring.
Kohli smashed his 28th ODI ton with a stunning knock of 111* off 115 deliveries during the 5th India Vs West Indies ODI on 6th July, 2017 in Jamaica while chasing 206.
However, one is always in the learning phase and never *The know-it-all* or *The Perfect* and Virat has always continued to keep this thing in mind, neglecting the impact of rankings on his game & mindset, but at the same time, staying grounded and expressing gratitude for the achievements. He is always keen to explore, learn more and improve consistently without thinking of the results cause they automatically follow if the process is done rightly and the intention is to drive the team forward. Let’s hear the man himself post he won all the 3 ICC awards in 2018. https://www.facebook.com/icc/videos/363263704471608/?app=fbl
I understand that this quarantine must have been particularly hard. And I can only imagine how much more frustrating it can feel if you have been ghosted by someone, or if you feel as though a love interest has been withdrawing, or even if you feel obsessed with someone who isn’t actually reciprocating interest.
I’ve been there too. We all have been actually, at one stage or the other in our lives. Looking at our phones. Watching the minutes tick by. Waiting for who we thought was “the one” to pop into our inbox.. or maybe our snapchat… hell, at least our instagram DMs! I remember what the panic feels like, the confusion, the frustration, and the deep desire to keep it all to myself for a fear of my friends getting irritated with me talking about this person for the umpteenth time. And no, it’s not embarrassing. It is just a part of growing up. We experiment & experience, make mistakes and learn from then and finally, we EVOLVE and laugh back at these moments which were actually nothing but just a passing shower. So you are not alone in this, we have all been through this and we have only come out more stronger and you shall too, JUST BELIEVE!
I know it’s not fun to experience it either. It’s not like you want to. You just.. do. Let me tell you why you do: you were raised to feel as though the people who don’t have the capacity to give you affection, time, and care are the people that love you. This is why we do inner child work. To navigate deep-rooted false truths like this one. So here are some quick tips to deal with the feeling of being ghosted or disconnected from someone during quarantine:
1. Remember that the strong attraction you feel to this person is most likely not attraction but instead, it is familiarity. How do I know this? Because someone who is interested in you would not be hot and cold with their communication with you. No one is perfect, but I’ll tell you what. Relationships are not built on fear, rejection, and confusion- you don’t have to repeat your childhood dynamics. When people care about you, they communicate with you. Maybe this person doesn’t have the ability to do that. This doesn’t make them a bad person. This makes them a person who is not in alignment with what you want. So there is absolutely no need to spend hours thinking about whether they love you or not cause if they really do, you would not even have to question yourself or even others about it, for that matter. Simple as that.
2. Remember that the fear of rejection is what is behind the whole obsession. Getting ghosted reminds you of how you felt as a child. Maybe your parent worked many hours. Maybe they didn’t pay attention to your needs. Maybe- or likely- both. This painful memory actually drives the desire to latch on to the very people that reject us. Remember this, them ghosting you has nothing to do with you and everything to do with what is going on with them which could involve a MULTITUDE of things from not being ready for commitment to having to deal with their own childhood trauma or maybe just prioritising their career or any other thing above the whole dynamics of relationships.
3. Remember that infatuation affects our logic. Literally, when we like someone it’s almost as if our logic is turned OFF. We can’t think straight! Suddenly everything is possible and everything makes sense- even when it doesn’t! Consciously remind yourself that a bunch of hormones are circulating through your body that may just be throwing off your logic. Get a journal and write down all the reasons you know this person wouldn’t be the best match for you based on your previous not so great experiences to help bring your logic to the forefront. Cause love should have nothing to do with logic, whereas infatuation or that attraction feeling is centred around adversely affecting our logical thinking.
4. Remember that this infatuation with the emotionally unavailable person only lasts a season. Even though it feels like you’ll NEVER stop thinking about them or that you won’t get over them trust me, you WILL. I have. I know people who have and you shall too, you just need to believe in yourself and start working towards your own best interest. Especially if you start with following the above steps!
5. Nurture your bond with your friends and family instead because Family is where life begins and love never ends. Seek serenity in them till you learn to make peace with your solitude. Facetime them a bit more if they aren’t close by. Text them instead and watch how organically you heal your wounds in the warmth and comfort of your “actual” loved ones.
I hope these helped! And I hope you remember to re-direct your attention back to yourself as opposed to keeping it directed towards that emotionally unavailable person who doesn’t have the ability to see you for all your truly worth.
I hope you make it your daily ritual to show love to yourself- to make knowing yourself your highest priority. Cause at the end of the day, you are your truest companion! Make sure you shower enough love and affection on *that companion* with whom you would be 24/7 spending the rest of your life.
P.S~ Major inspiration for this article has been my all time favourite “The Self Love Fix” podcast on Google.
Well, overrated would actually be quite an inappropriate word to use, so let’s just say it was a disappointing movie for it did fail at delivering what I and most of the viewers expected it to.
This movie that I had watched just 2 weeks ago ,”Laila Majnu” set in Kashmir directed by Imtiaz Ali went a bit over my head and hence became a reason of my dislike. The first half an hour is fine and in fact quite engaging. The male and female protagonist are into a kind of flirtationship, some cliché stalking from the guy’s side happens and then they soon fall for each other, ask the girl finally gives into to the boy’s advances. The romantic medley depicting this blossoming of love is just amazing! #Aahista Check out this clip here. https://www.instagram.com/p/BmQVM8thKNQ/?igshid=efdd6ydad9my
Their families are arch rivals. Laila gets married to somebody else owing to a misunderstanding. The story then takes a turn of events until both of the leads get united post Laila’s repentance as she came vis-à-vis the reality of (Qais) Majnu’s innocence and her husband’s real attitude soon after her marriage. So she was delighted to see Qais aka THE Majnu back in the town after 4 long years. After her husband’s demise in an accident, Laila had to wait for 3 more months to be able to marry Majnu as per an Islamic tradition.
Majnu was heartbroken still did not express anything because he was tired of waiting for his ladylove so he sought refuge in his distant, tranquil farmhouse. There he is portrayed as a mad lover through typical actions of running around, screaming out loud and it just didn’t seem to make sense to me. Seemed as if he got struck by sufism and that he came to realize that he didn’t any longer require Laila for the fulfillment of his love story. For he is so content and at absolute peace by just seeing Laila (an illusion actually) in a beautiful white fairy gown in front of his eyes, he is seen talking to her and that’s the reason why the people declared him mad.
Laila then came to see him and she realised this as well that Majnu no longer needs her physical self to celebrate his love, for his love has evolved much more in deeper sense and left her body soonafter. Majnu is also shown to be dead near Laila’s grave. The ever-so-mind-bewildering story then ends with the song Jab Se Tu Meri Hai Tab Se Main Tera hu Laila. What questions pops up on my mind is that when one attains such deeper, higher form of divine, selfless love then it definitely would not lead to the downfall of that person that he would go insane. From what I know, true love only supports growth of both individuals and can never result in negativity as it is the only positive this world has to offer. So this story line contradicted the universal truth and just didn’t go well with me otherwise the scenes, the acting, the dialogues, music and everything was top notch except for the way in which it’s plot progressed.
The leads, Avinash Tiwary and Tripti Dimri are coming together, yet again, for a Netflix Original “Bulbbul”. Checkout the trailer. Given that the chemistry of the leads was sizzling and they look cute together, I am sure you would not want to miss out on this one, especially if you love psychological, supernatural or thriller stuff.
International Journal of Research (IJR) 