Tag Archives: #feelings

Why bad memories are Vivid

Do you remember the time when you lost your dog who was the dearest to you or the time when you had an accident. If asked about recalling someone from your past maybe you will recall some tragic or painful memories related to them. Ever wondered why we remember the bad ones more vividly than the good ones even if the latter is more in numbers. 

We often tend to remember the bad memories and it has many psychological, physiological and evolutionary factors involved. 

We can say that humans are lovers of tragedy. We forget the happy moments very soon. They do not last for long. On the other hand, tragedy leaves a powerful impact on us. Its appeal feels eternal because our heart is affected by it very much. P.B Shelly, famous romantic era poet also quoted in his poem ‘To a Skylark’ that – “Our sweetest songs are those that tell of saddest thoughts” our best memories are from the negative memories because they have a strong impression on us. Moreover, people always try to find pleasure in tragedy. It attracts us toward it that’s why many of the greatest plays or movies in history have always tragedy involved in them. 

We have witnessed many musicians whose lives were more tragic and they created the best music inspiring from these tragedies. The audience also loved these songs because as I stated before we are lovers of tragedy. 

How memories are stored in our mind

When a memory is created it is stored in the brain in forms of neural connections of brains stimulated by proteins. Everytime we dwell in the memory or tell someone about it the connections become stronger. The memory will live with us forever if we visit it from time to time. Since the beginning people thought long memories are stable but that’s not perfectly true. Every time we revisit the connections get malleable and are subjected to differ. This means that they are not completely stable. Some memories can grow out of proportion. That’s why we see a person having a little incident with a spider in childhood can get an exaggerated phobia in their lifetime. 

Why bad is strong

Researchers have claimed that humans tend to remember the bad memories well. There can be many reasons for that. As a species we have to survive in the world and to do that we have to always evolve and learn from our mistakes. That’s why we remember the details of the bad memories so that it can be stored and used later when the same situation appears again. The lasting impact of negative memories is associated with the danger with it and our attention to the danger. We would be more attentive to a lion hiding in a garden rather than a beautiful flower in the same bushes in which the lion is hiding. We ignore the flower because it’s not dangerous compared to the lion. Also the strong memory of negatives is associated with the young age as this is the time we are in a more learning phase. As we grow old we tend to care less and focus on the positive. 

Whether it is good or bad, people have both. The ups and downs, the happiness and sorrow all are parts and parcels of life. One should always balance one’s focus between both to live the life fullest. 

Discover your calling

One good time, I was leafing through the pages of the book ” Who will cry when you die”.A master piece book authored by ‘Robin Sharma’. His books are helping people around the world live great lives.

The very first lesson of the book struck a chord in me when I first read it. It read ‘Discover your calling’. By this time I was caught up & couldn’t resist myself going through the description of the lesson and amaze myself. And the description went like this:-

“When I was growing up, my father said something to me, I will never forget, ” Son, when you were born, you cried while the world rejoiced. Live your life in such a way that when you die the world cries while you rejoice.”

We live in an age when we have forgotten what life is all about. We can easily post a photo on Instagram and Facebook and read the comments and talk to unknown people, but we have trouble walking across the street to meet a new neighbor. At present almost every country have their own missiles which can target with pinpoint accuracy, but we have trouble keeping a family meeting in our home, hanging out with friends, visiting a library and reading books. We have lost touch with our humanity. We have lost touch with our purpose. We have lost sight of the things that matters the most. In this lesson he asks us to ponder over some questions:-

He says that one of the greatest lessons he has learned In his own life is that if we don’t act on life, life has a habit of acting on us. The days slip into weeks, weeks slup into months and the months slip into years. Pretty soon it’s all over and we are left with nothing more than a heart filled with over a life half lived. “What would we do if we could live our life over again? “

Before we answer to this question in deep sigh and say that “I’d like to be the person I could have been but never was. ” We need to find greater purpose of our life and invest our life in serving the humanity. We need make a lasting contribution through our work so that we can enjoy the journey of life before it is too late. We all have special talents that are just waiting to be engaged in a worthy pursuit. We are all here for some unique purpose, some noble objective that will allow us to manifest our highest human potential while we at the same time, add value to the lives around us. Finding our calling doesn’t mean we must leave the job we have now. It simply means we need to bring more of ourselves into our work and focus on the things we do best. It means we have to stop waiting for other people to make the changes we desire and as Mahatma Gandhi noted: “Be the change that you wish to see most in your world. “ And once you do, your life will change.

A family is a little world created with love.

Family is the people in one’s life who accept you as you are.The one’s who would do anything to see you smile and who love you no matter what.Family plays an integral part in one’s life.Family is build on meaningful connection, it is an unbreakable and incredible bond created by mothers,fathers,sisters,brothers etc.A family acts as a first school to a child where one learns about various things.The basic knowledge about one’s culture and identity comes from the family only.In other word one is identified with the family only.All the good habits and manners one has Incorporated are from their only.Families are essential as they help in our growth they develop as becoming a complete person with an individual identity.Family are the one who believes in you when the whole World doubt you.family acts a pillar in one’s life they are always there in ups and down.Family are source of inspiration, love and support.Its that warm and fuzzy feeling.

Beautiful moments while falling in love

“Love is like the wind, you can’t see it, but you can feel it” – Nicholas Sparks

Love is one of the most beautiful emotions we experience as humans. Though we can invite it into our lives, we do not have the control over the how, when and where love starts to express itself. The act of caring and giving to someone else having someone’s best interest and well-being as a priority in your life. Love is commitment and unconditional moment of one’s life. Being in love is the beautiful feeling in the world. Love is something, defined as give and take of emotions and care. It’s natural to wonder about the one thing that millions of people can’t stop thinking about. Songs are written about it, art is done around it, so each and everyone is in love with some one another.

Sleeplessness, racing heart, feeling free, feeling special are some inner thoughts which surrounds a person’s mind in love. A person in love considers light of the life.

Love is not the easiest emotion that can be explained, it needs words, connection to the lover to express. There are various signs or symptoms that show a person in love. Have a look to it-

  • Daydreaming the beloved- When you’re in love, you begin to think your beloved in every aspect of life. The person tries to fill every moment of life with him/her . He/she wants to experience every joy, pain with the other. One thinks about future aspects with his/her beloved.
  • Thinking this one is special- A person in love begin to think his love is unique and special. He thinks that she is the one who can fill his world with happiness.One wants to spend more and more time.
  • They become priority- The person in love takes his beloved at priority. He tries to fulfil all what he wants.
  • Everything feels new and exciting- The one who falls in love, experiences his surrounding world to be new and full of joy.Suddenly everything seems to be wonderful.
  • Catch yourself smiling- Thought of lover leads to smile on a face of the lover. He/she catches himself smiling for no reason many times.
  • Focusing on the positive side- Being a lover, tend to focus on the positive qualities of their beloved, while overlooking his or her negative traits.
  • Aligning interests- Being in love, person starts taking interest in the likes of his partner. Falling in love is marked by a tendency to reorder your daily priorities and change your clothing, mannerisms, habits or values so that they better align with those of their beloved. person in love tries to learn new things to impress his love. If you find yourself drawn to more new ideas and experiences than you’ve ever been interested in before, chances are, you’re in love.
  • Feeling insecure- Feeling of insecurity increases with love. One secures insecure of their activities which you will not be able to digest. A little bit jealousy is natural. It’s understandable because you want your partner to be only exclusive to you.
  • Feeling affectionate towards the person- The one in love get attracted towards his love day by day more and more. Often a lover is curious to know that his lover ever thinks about him or not. He wants mental satisfaction of being loved or not.
  • Feeling empathy- Feeling empathy towards your love makes you want to make tiny sacrifices for them which creates happiness.
  • Experiences butterflies in heart- At the sight of lover, person in love feels butterflies in heart. His presence gives sweet feeling in his heart.Everything seems to be lovely.
  • World revolves around them- It seems to the person in love that his world revolves around his love. Everyone seems to be his love and him. He is not able to focus on work.
  • Emotional instability- As usual, falling in love often leads to emotional and physiological instability. Mood swings, accelerated heartbeat is commonly observed. People in love regularly exhibit signs of emotional dependency including possessiveness, jealousy, fear of rejection, and separation anxiety. 
  • Memorizes past events- A person in love often thinks about the time spent with the person he loves.He feels happy inside his heart thinking about beautiful moments of love.
  • Starts planning for the future- When you truly love someone, you know that you don’t have plans to let them go any time soon, if ever.He plans for future life with the lover.

Every moment that they make you fall in love all over again is why being in love is so unbelievably incredible because, life is just a string of happy and unhappy moments, and love just composes many of the happy ones.

Often times, in the beginning, great love just happens. Sometimes, great love is easy and it is mutual. Love does not have to be complicated. Love does not have to be challenging. Sometimes, love is just right. Sometimes, loving another human being is so very natural. Keep Loving Keep Expressing….!!!!!

“Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies”- Aristotle

Dealing with jealousy

Oh well! So that’s quite a juicy topic and a very interesting one which is I feel is more of a hush-hush topic, for people know that it exists but they don’t want to admit it publicly, considering it might cause them some sort of an embarrassment or is going to tease their ego a bit and that’s the reason why they are busy silently combating with this one but here I am going to talk about it in a more umm, deeper manner or whatever you may call it.

I am pretty sure that all of us must have experienced jealousy at one stage or the other no matter how much we try to get away with it but I think walking through jealousy is only going to be a successful conquest if, we firstly accept and acknowledge that we have been at points, jealous in our life post which almost 70% of the job is already done. It’s absolutely normal, just a part of human mindset but is deeply rooted in fear and in lack and know that, the feeling of lack is rooted in ego.

Sometimes it is important for us to deeply analyse our emotions and go an extra mile to try and heal them cause unless we heal them, they are going to keep causing troubles for us, leading to absence of mental peace. So why not go into deeper insights and try and figure out how jealousy looks like. It is the general idea that can be taken from the help of sentences that people generally use;  I hate that she has those things, Why does she have them? I wish I had them. Why is he with her? I think I look much better than that girl. Look at me, my Life. I don’t have all these things. I don’t have this money. I don’t have a boyfriend. I don’t have xyz and the list would go on and on unless we choose to accept it and embrace ourselves and practice more and more self love and compassion. Might sound difficult at first, but is not impossible.

If somebody has something, we need to regard it as a blessing bestowed upon them. For the enormous amounts of hard work that they must have been upto all those years of their life, somewhat like the quote “Work hard in Silence and let your success make the noise”. We don’t know, we aren’t aware how incredibly hard circusmstances they would have endured, how many failures they had to overcome and when the time has come for them to enjoy the reward, the fruit of long years of toiling hard and struggles, what are we doing to them? Are we really being compassionate here? Are we really wishing them luck and positivity. Are we really being good human beings here?No, by being jealous and envious, we arez on top of it, trying to tarnish their success by throwing away negativity and jealousy is a negative vibe. Let’s accept it.

So try and make a smooth transition from jealousy to being inspired by that someone, to that extent, where you also want to work hard to earn that fruit and for that, know that, you would also have to put in the equal amount of hardwork, absorb in the pressure and only then you will be rewarded because if you want to chill in an air conditioned room, you would first have to know the experience of being burnt under the sun. Because, my dear, nothing in this world is ever free of cost. You have to endure some amount of “pain” in order to get some “gain” and notice that when you channelize your entire energy towards this process of trying to gain something, trying to work work hard and fulfill your dreams & desire post setting up goals and following your passion, you would find yourself engulfed in a bubble of positivity and there would just be no room for negativity and even if there are some other things which make you feel low and jealous and if the self doubt tends to creep in, don’t worry. Just soothe your inner child, comfort it and with a tranquil state of mind, affirm and say that I have been working hard and I am sure if I don’t give up right now, I will also get what I truly deserve. Also, be mindful enough to not say that “I will also get to match up with that someone”. That’s where comparison comes into play and this is what leads to jealousy. So remember, that as long as you hold love and compassion in your heart, nothing negative can impact you. I hope it helped.

KEEP BREATHING

“If you want, You can talk with me……from yesterday all are giving status and send messages to their friends family that if you want to share something, express yourself. I feel so good that my friends and family care for me. I think we should be express our feelings with ourselves and of course with near ones. We all have different lifestyles, different kinds of problems in our life. It’s really a blessing you have someone who really listens to you. But I notice sometimes when I need people to talk, they are not there for some of their issues. I am not complaining about that every person has his or her own Life. So I just want to tell you that when you are feeling alone just spending time with your self, you can do the things you like, cooking, drawing, listening to music, exercise, a little walk, reading books. I really prefer drawing colors really make me happy, don’t be sad, cheer up yourself, tell your self YOU CAN DO

Make yourself happy, Do the Things you like

There is some situation came when we avoid people as we don’t want to, on that we really need to cheer up ourselves and should spend time with our friends and families as sometimes things are getting better just spending time with some special people in our life, life is for express. So don’t miss the opportunity to spend time with your old friends, families .

If you really feel depressed, you feel something wrong with yourself you feel uneasy, uncomfortable, wrong thoughts coming to your mind please get treatment contact with a psychiatrist, doesn’t avoid it, Mental health really an important thing.

Don’t take pressure too much, life is not only all about success and failure,

From the movie CHICHORE

Why do we hate people? Can we really hate them? Read on to know more.

Firstly let’s understand that HATE is a very strong emotion to be expressed and a very strong word to be used for anyone irrespective of whatever the person may have done. Hence, the pre-eminent truth lies in acknowledging the fact that we can never truly hate anybody because we, human beings are created by the supreme to offer only Love. Then how can we even possibly do or feel something which is in absolute contradiction to the purpose of our life and creation. So let this thing be fitted into your mind that you cannot dislike anybody even to a mammoth extent to be able to call it as hatred.


Notwithstanding, I do understand that sometimes other people’s wrongdoings often break our heart, ache our soul take a toll on our mental well being by gigantic amounts  that we don’t know what to do now and we feel like we have been ditched. And it’s an observable pattern that often people who are very close to our heart, they may be our parents, siblings, best friends or partner; only hurt us in deepest ways unimaginable. We try to mend the broken ties and we fail again because we just can’t forget what they did to us, let alone the act of forgiving them. Then we go on to categorise this feeling of heartbreak and give it a label as “hatred”. I hate that somebody, I hate him for making me go through hell, I hate my friend she ditched me etc.


But have you ever tried to look deep into our own self? I have and I tried to figure out the reason behind the hatred only to realise that nobody else can make us feel a certain way. We can only feel what we choose to, be it the feeling of positivity & love, anger & hatred or anything in general. So now that we have a choice to accept and reject either gold (positive thoughts) or coal (negative thoughts); What are you going to choose? Doesn’t it make the choice really simple?
My dear friend, just try and let this thought go off your mind that you are feeling hurt/broken by anybody’s ill actions and feed this piece of information within that you have forgiven them. You’d find out that it actually works, that is the power of the subconscious mind. Your mind is like a servant and you are the BOSS so make sure you instruct it to feel happy and peaceful and slowly but steadily, let go of all the grudges.

At times the heart would find it difficult to accept it again but remember that you just cannot give up.
for you have to be the person who breaks the cycle:
If they mis-judged you, choose understanding and compassion.
if they rejected you, try and learn to accept yourself with all the flaws.
Be the person you needed when you felt the pain, the agony and the hurt and not the one who hurt you. Realise that those people are full of hatred and you don’t want to become just like them so that they become successful in their attempt of hurting you. But first, also forgive them only then you would be able to do justice to yourself else you will be caught up, quite unknowingly, in a bubble of revenge and pessimistic behaviour which would only deter your growth. Also, know that the process is slow and tiring but deeply satistifying and fruitful. So just don’t give up!
Lastly, Shine so bright and be so full of love that they go on to repent for their wrongdoings and that would be your ultimate success. I wish you all the very best in this journey of self love and healing.