Tag Archives: #heartbreak

Breakup: Is it always negative? Or is it how we make it?

The very thought of losing someone you love is heartbreaking. But change is meant to happen. It is the rule of the universe. There are some changes that are completely out of our control, where we can do nothing about how it happens. For example death of someone you love. But there are and will be situations where you can actually play a vital role in shaping the change.

I have written a poem on one such change in my life. I learnt that “it will be happy, if you want it to be. This poem is about a different kind of happy ending, not the cliche ones we see in movies. Life isn’t the way movies shows it to be. Hope you find this poem inspirational and in future acknowledge the pain and think how you can make it better. Remember: you and only you can make yourself happy. Even when you believe that a specific person is giving you happiness, its not them, its you, because you want them to. You choose how you want to live and that does not mean that you won’t get into trouble. Getting hurt, experiencing pain, any kind of loss, might not be in your hands but how you react to it, how you want to overcome it is surely in your hands.

A different kind of happy ending

I fell in love with the way you cared,
Even though I was immensely scared,
Cause all the ones I had known, left me alone,
Then all I got to hear was that, I am made of stone,
But you seemed different,
Kindness, selflessness and patience was all I could see,
“Epitome” , I presumed you to be
No you were not perfect, but you were all that I needed,
When every night my heart bleeded,
I pushed you away but you didn’t leave,
Cause ‘a pashmina of love’ you wanted to weave,
I fell for you deeper and deeper ,
But didn’t realize that the relationship was getting steeper and steeper,
I wanted to understand you and give my all,
But didn’t understand why you had started building a wall,
Those eyes that once couldn’t stop looking at mine,
Somehow didn’t find enough time,
I reckoned you were busy,
But couldn’t help feeling dizzy,
Cause it had been a long time I had been on my own,
Waiting for your text, I used to sleep holding my phone,
I realized, the construction of the wall was complete,
Cause your feelings for me had become obsolete,
But your happiness was all I prayed for,
And didn’t wanted to make my heart sore,
I left you and tried to move on,
But my heart was all torn,
I somehow gathered courage and worked on become strong,
Thought by then you would have forgotten me, but I was wrong,
You called me and wanted to talk to me all night,
And made my dark heart all bright,
You said you missed me, and how you would have kissed me,
But what all you said after that somehow pissed me,
You said we are a different world, and I want it to be happy,
Don’t mind whatever I said, because my thoughts had become scrappy,
Somewhere we both were wrong,
We acted as if we were high on bong,
We couldn’t make it last long, but lets proove the world wrong,
Lets make it the best breakup,
So that we are happy and peaceful when we wake up.

Why do we hate people? Can we really hate them? Read on to know more.

Firstly let’s understand that HATE is a very strong emotion to be expressed and a very strong word to be used for anyone irrespective of whatever the person may have done. Hence, the pre-eminent truth lies in acknowledging the fact that we can never truly hate anybody because we, human beings are created by the supreme to offer only Love. Then how can we even possibly do or feel something which is in absolute contradiction to the purpose of our life and creation. So let this thing be fitted into your mind that you cannot dislike anybody even to a mammoth extent to be able to call it as hatred.

Notwithstanding, I do understand that sometimes other people’s wrongdoings often break our heart, ache our soul take a toll on our mental well being by gigantic amounts  that we don’t know what to do now and we feel like we have been ditched. And it’s an observable pattern that often people who are very close to our heart, they may be our parents, siblings, best friends or partner; only hurt us in deepest ways unimaginable. We try to mend the broken ties and we fail again because we just can’t forget what they did to us, let alone the act of forgiving them. Then we go on to categorise this feeling of heartbreak and give it a label as “hatred”. I hate that somebody, I hate him for making me go through hell, I hate my friend she ditched me etc.

But have you ever tried to look deep into our own self? I have and I tried to figure out the reason behind the hatred only to realise that nobody else can make us feel a certain way. We can only feel what we choose to, be it the feeling of positivity & love, anger & hatred or anything in general. So now that we have a choice to accept and reject either gold (positive thoughts) or coal (negative thoughts); What are you going to choose? Doesn’t it make the choice really simple?
My dear friend, just try and let this thought go off your mind that you are feeling hurt/broken by anybody’s ill actions and feed this piece of information within that you have forgiven them. You’d find out that it actually works, that is the power of the subconscious mind. Your mind is like a servant and you are the BOSS so make sure you instruct it to feel happy and peaceful and slowly but steadily, let go of all the grudges.

At times the heart would find it difficult to accept it again but remember that you just cannot give up.
for you have to be the person who breaks the cycle:
If they mis-judged you, choose understanding and compassion.
if they rejected you, try and learn to accept yourself with all the flaws.
Be the person you needed when you felt the pain, the agony and the hurt and not the one who hurt you. Realise that those people are full of hatred and you don’t want to become just like them so that they become successful in their attempt of hurting you. But first, also forgive them only then you would be able to do justice to yourself else you will be caught up, quite unknowingly, in a bubble of revenge and pessimistic behaviour which would only deter your growth. Also, know that the process is slow and tiring but deeply satistifying and fruitful. So just don’t give up!
Lastly, Shine so bright and be so full of love that they go on to repent for their wrongdoings and that would be your ultimate success. I wish you all the very best in this journey of self love and healing.