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Influence of Marital Resilience and Socio-Economic Status on Marital Commitment among Married Individuals in Abeokuta North Local Government, Ogun State, Nigeria.

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Idowu, B. O., Abidemi, A. M., & Olamide, A. T. (2026). Influence of Marital Resilience and Socio-Economic Status on Marital Commitment among Married Individuals in Abeokuta North Local Government, Ogun State, Nigeria. International Journal of Research, 13(1), 375–393. https://doi.org/10.26643/ijr/2026/12

Babalola Olawale Idowu

Counselling and Human Development Studies

University of Ibadan, Nigeria

lawalebabalola@gmail.com

https://orcid.org/0009-0009-8967-8371

Ajayi Modupeola Abidemi

Counselling and Human Development Studies

University of Ibadan, Nigeria

ajayimodupeola2905@gmail.com

https://orcid.org/0009-0002-3335-7017

Adegbite Toyibat Olamide

Counselling and Human Development Studies

University of Ibadan, Nigeria

adegbiteolamide1@gmail.com

https://orcid.org/0009-0003-4716-7027

Abstract

This research was aimed at determining the extent to which marital resilience and socio-economic status affect the level of marital commitment in married couples in the Abeokuta North Local Government of Ogun State in Nigeria. 

A descriptive correlational research design was adopted for this study. A total of one hundred (100) married participants were selected using stratified sampling techniques. Socio-economic status, marital resilience and marital commitment were measured through standardised instruments. The statistical tools used are Pearson product-moment correlation and multiple regression tests at the.05 level of significance. 

The findings revealed positive and significant relationship among socio-economic status, marital resilience, and marriage commitment. With the combination of the two predictor variables, the variance in marital commitment was 38.2%, with the socio-economic status level coming out as the better predictor. 

The paper concludes that, as much as emotional flexibility improves the marital relationships the financial aspect has a greater definite role to play in maintaining marital devotion. Based on this it is proposed that marital counselling programs should also be integrated with resilience-building and financial empowerment programs to help women to develop healthier and more sustainable marital relationships. 

Keywords: Marital Commitment, Marital Resilience, Socio-economic, Quantitative Method, Abeokuta, Nigeria.

1.1 Background of the Study

‎Marriage is one of the most ancient and most significant social institutions which provides the basic foundation upon which families and societies are built. It represents friendship, love, mutual assistance and persistence of the human family. Good marital union is never based on just affective love or simple compatibility but on strong devotion of both parties to maintain the relationship despite the challenges which life inevitably presents. Marital commitment is also defined as a psychological and emotional desire to maintain a lifelong relationship with a spouse (Deniz and Yozgat, 2013). It comprises commitment towards the partner, fidelity to the marriage institution and the willingness to tolerate hardships in the process of seeking to achieve mutual growth and fulfillment. Higher marital commitment has been linked to greater marital stability, satisfaction as well as holistic family well-being.

‎However, this does not necessarily make marital commitment stable. As illustrated in the modern marriage in Nigeria and in Abeokuta North Local Government in Ogun State in particular, the situation is a mixture of emotional, social and economic issues. The financial strain, lack of jobs, inflation and the changing cultural demands still threaten the sustainability of marital relationships. Although love can cause one to enter in marriage, marital resilience and socio-economic stability are the driving factors. Based on that, the study of the interaction between marital resilience and socio-economic status in terms of their influence on marital commitment is a crucial interest of investigation in both family and marital relationship.

‎Marital resilience has become one of the key constructs to explain why couples adjust and overcome stressors that could otherwise disrupt their relationships. It means the ability of couples to achieve emotional balance, maintain harmony and prioritise the relationship despite the adversity (Sanford et al., 2016; Aydogan and Kizildag, 2017). Healthy couples use positive coping mechanisms such as empathy, forgiveness, open communication and mutual support to overcome issues like financial stress, sickness or family conflict. Marital resilience therefore portrays a process of facilitated vulnerability and reciprocal accommodation where couples empower themselves by being able to face adversities together. On the other hand, lack of marital resilience can be in the form of withdrawal, aggressiveness, avoidance or devastating conflict hence, undermining trust and reducing commitment.

‎While marital resilience is an expression that conveys the psychological strength that keeps the emotional bond of companions within a couple intact, socio-economic status (SES) provides the material bedrock upon which the emotional bonding exists. SES includes income level, educational level, job stability and social standing in general, which determine the availability of resources and opportunities (Okunlola, Akande and Adetayo, 2023). Higher socio-economic status of couples usually means that they can afford good living conditions, medical care and education opportunities which in turn allow couples to avoid stress and achieve marital satisfaction. On the contrary, the financial pressure, social isolation and work imbalances are more likely to affect couples with low SES leading to frustration, violence and lack of commitment.

The socio-economic inequality on marital outcomes has been widely reported in the Nigerian setting. Financial difficulty, joblessness and inflation have pushed many households to a long-term stress which erodes marital stability and gratification. The situation is similar to that of couples in the Abeokuta North Local Government where most of the families have to cope with the demands of low income, changing gender roles and conflicting societal roles in extended families. In this situation, marital resilience and socio-economic context interplay becomes of importance as economic pressure can weaken relationships while resilience can help address it allowing couples to adjust in a productive way and remain committed.

‎Although these factors are important, most studies conducted before have often considered marital resilience and socioeconomic status as independent variables affecting marital satisfaction or adjustment. There has been little focus on how they interact to affect marital commitment- especially in the Nigerian cultural and economic context. This is a gap since marriage in Nigeria can be seen as not just a personal agreement but also a social institution that is deeply entrenched in social expectations, culture and economic factors. Psychological adaptability and socio-economic stability might be integrated to provide a deeper analysis of the mechanisms that maintain or undermine marital commitment.

‎This study therefore aims at examining how marital resilience and socio-economic status affect marital commitment in married people in Abeokuta North Local Government, Ogun State, Nigeria. It seeks to identify the interaction between the ability of couples to make adoptions and to overcome marital stress and their economic and social status to determine the level of commitment. This study will offer a comprehensive view on the issue of marital sustainability in Nigeria by incorporating both psychological and structural aspects of marital life in a local setting. The expected insights will add value to the counselling psychology, marriage education and family policy by providing information on how the capacity to build resilience and socio-economic empowerment can bolster marital commitment and stability in the modern Nigerian society.

1.2 Statement of the Problem

‎Marriages which start with love and hope sometimes fail the test of time showing that emotional attraction is not enough to maintain long term marriage relationships. The defining factor between long-lasting unions and unsuccessful ones is marital commitment- a conscious and continuing effort of partners to maintain relationships amidst the unfavorable obstacles or dissatisfaction.

‎Marital commitment is a multidimensional concept, which incorporates moral, emotional and structural views. It is not merely a feeling of love; it is a choice to be faithful to one’s partner and to protect the marriage and to face issues in a positive way. However, the modern reality puts this promise under a lot of pressure. The increased economic instability, gender role changes, urbanization and individualism destroy the old values that married people used to rely on to help them endure. The contemporary couples are facing financial insecurity, competing career requirements and limited emotional intimacy and all this amounts to a slow decline in the feeling of accountability to the marital relationship.

‎These processes are becoming more noticeable in Nigeria. According to marriage counsellors and family psychologists, couples have been found to be less tolerant of conflict, have less communication and less trust and these factors have all led to emotional detachment and subsequent separation. Marital strain has been heightened by factors such as unemployment, poverty, cultural expectations and social comparison mediated by media exposure particularly in young couples both in urban and semi-urban environments. Indeed, an example is in Abeokuta North Local Government in Ogun State, where most couples are faced with economic and social challenges that hinder their ability to undertake their family duties and thus affect the level of their satisfaction and dedication to the relationship.

‎Although this has become of increasing concern, the majority of the studies have been focused on marital satisfaction, adaptive adjustment or patterns of communication without giving much insight into the construct of marital commitment per se, a more consistent and long-term predictor of whether couples will continue their relationship in the face of varying levels of satisfaction. The lack of study to be more exact on marital commitment in the specific Nigerian settings leads to interventions relying mostly on the foreign models which do not necessarily reflect the peculiarity of the Nigerian marriage where cultural expectations, extended family relations and financial factors are the central factors.

‎The continuity of marital instability requires the need to take a deeper look at the factors which support or undermine marital commitment. It is important to understand how people understand and practice commitment in their marriages to come up with strategies of strengthening family life. Without this understanding, marital counseling, family education and policies will be futile or erroneous.

‎Therefore, the gap this study aims to fill is the growing deterioration of the commitment by the married people especially in the light of socio-economic stress, change in social values and emotional weakness witnessed in modern marriages in Nigeria. The question of how people in Abeokuta North Local Government understand and uphold their marriage vows despite such challenges is in dire need of an answer. This study will shed light on the psychological, social and economic aspects which determine the survival of marriages and help in empowering family units within the society.

1.3 Purpose of the Study 

The overall purpose of this study is to evaluate the extent to which marital resilience and socio-economic status influence marital commitment of married people living in the Abeokuta North Local Government, Ogun State, Nigeria. Specifically, the research attempts to: 

1. Evaluate the presence of a correlation among marital resilience, socio-economic status and marital commitment. 

2. Establish the combined influence of marital resilience and socio-economic status on marital commitment among the target population. 

3. Determine the relative contribution of each of marital resilience and socio-economic status to marital commitment among married individuals.

1.4 Research Questions 

The research questions to be used in the study are as follows: 

1. Does marital resilience, socio-economic status and marriage commitment among married partners in Abeokuta North Local Government, Ogun State in Nigeria have a significant relationship? 

2. What is the combined effect of marital resilience and socio-economic status on marital commitment among married individuals in Abeokuta North Local Government, Ogun State, Nigeria? 

3. What is the relative contribution of each of marital resilience and socio-economic status to marital commitment among married persons in Abeokuta North Local Government in Ogun state, Nigeria?‎

‎2.1 Literature Review

‎Commitment in marriage is considered to be one of the strongest antecedents of a stable and happy marriage. It is a summary of the desire and the perseverance of a partner to stay in a marital union amidst the problems that can occur as time goes by. Cheraey et al (2020) argues that marital commitment is not just a mere emotion but a conscious decision to maintain the relationship and be faithful to one’s partner. Marital commitment in this conceptualisation acts as the binding force which keeps couples together in varying emotional and situational situations.

‎Adams and Jones (1997) developed a three part model of marital commitment which they divided into personal, moral and structural elements. Personal commitment which can be motivated by affective affection and emotional satisfaction constitutes the emotive dimension; moral commitment occurs because of personal values or religious beliefs which reflect ethical imperatives and structural commitment is created by socio-economic, family or institutional pressures which make separation unattractive. Deniz and Yozgat (2013) further narrowed it down as a psychological binding that drives the individuals to stay in the marital union and even work hard to sustain the relationship as time goes by. The various views unite on a definition that makes marital commitment affective and volitional thus necessitating the need to be affectionate and intentional.

‎Empirical studies in the recent past have highlighted how significant marital commitment can be, in determining the marital satisfaction, the manner in which the marriage partners communicate and the overall well being of the partners. Couples with a greater degree of commitment were more likely to have positive communication and work together to solve the conflict. On the other hand, the low level of commitment was linked to emotional disconnection, cheating and ultimate marriage breakups. The erosion of moral values, increasing economic hardship and the changed societal priorities among others were found to have led to the reduction in the level of marital commitment among married people in the Nigerian context.

‎Intergenerational effects also occur because of commitment. Studies have proven that the emotional stability and growth of children in the family depends on the degree of commitment of the wife and husband (Cheraey et al., 2020). Kids of these strained marital connections tend to develop psychological distress, low self-esteem and insecurity in their relations and this is a highlight of the extensive consequences of deteriorating marital dedication. Therefore, determining the factors that maintain or undermine commitment like resilience and socio-economic security is pertinent in the alleviation of marital breakdowns in the modern societies.

‎Marital resilience has become a very crucial construct to explain the adaptation and sustenance of marital health to adversity among couples. It refers to the ability of a couple to recover due to challenges in marital life, stress or crisis situations and maintain emotional connectedness and commitment (Sanford, Helms and Solomon, 2016). It is therefore not the lack of conflict in marriage but the possibility of the development even in the face of adversity that constitutes marital resilience.

‎According to Aydogan and Kizildag (2017), marital resilience is a dynamic process whereby couples rely on the common strengths, trust, as well as empathy to manage challenging situations. Resilient couples are likely to be optimistic and supportive of each other and find meaning in their struggle, thus they turn adversity into a growth opportunity. Conversely, those couples which are not resilient, tend more to withdraw, become hostile or refuse to accept responsibility when conflict occurs which results in a decline of their marital relationships (Sanford et al., 2016).

‎Nigerian couples with high resilience exhibited a high level of emotional regulation and communication in times of financial hardship or crisis in the family. Also, the couples who combined their positive coping mechanisms including co-problem solving and emotional support, experienced increased intimacy and trust, therefore strengthening their marital commitment.

‎In addition, there are personal, relational and contextual factors that determine marital resilience. Personal optimism, mutual spirituality and strong social networks also make couples have the ability to overcome marital stressors (Aydogan and Kizildag, 2017). Quality of interpersonal communication has revealed itself as one of the determinants too; open and understanding dialogue can lead to understanding and reduce resentment. In Nigeria, culture tends to support endurance in marriages, though endurance is not only passive but should be active and comes with adaptation and growth amid adversities. Resilience in marriage is an important factor that provides stability and commitment in marital life. It strengthens the emotional and cognitive connections which the committed relationships are built on by enabling the conversion of adversity into unity instead of polarization.

‎The socio-economic status (SES) is a decisive element that determines the relationships in marriage life and level of commitment between the two partners. SES generally refers to the level of income, education, profession and social status that, together, define the accessibility of resources and the quality of life of a person or a family. Emotional security, mutual ambitions and marital contentment are usually cultivated in the financial and social stability linked with increased SES. On the contrary, economic distress has the potential to augment marital strain, reduce satisfaction and commitment.

‎It has been proven that partners who have steady finances are less likely to experience conflicts and are also more likely to report higher relational satisfaction (Okunlola, Akande and Adetayo, 2023). Economic stability reduces the stress associated with the achievement of the basic needs and allows partners to focus on the emotional and social aspects of relationship. Financial stress on the other hand often leads to frustration, a breakdown of communication and blame especially in families where the gender roles have specified the role of provision of finances to one partner. Also, it is noteworthy to know that economic disparity and lack of job security in many Nigerian homes has increased unhappiness and lack of loyalty in marriages.

‎Education, being one of the components of SES also determines the marital commitment. More highly educated people tend to be more aware of the emotional, legal and social demands of marriage and are probably more likely to have better communication and conflict-management skills. However, higher education can lead to a change in gender roles and expectations which at times can create conflicts where the ambitions or incomes of the partners are not similar. The social status also defines how couples perceive their relationship and their ability to deal with external pressures as social comparison, influence of peers and extended families may strengthen or weaken marital relationships.

‎Apart from the socio-economic factors influencing marriage conflicts, e.g. inflation, joblessness and the ever-growing income disparity, in Nigerian setting, marital relationships are further pressured by socio-economic challenges. Most couples especially in semi urban places like Abeokuta North Local Government cannot balance financial survival and emotional intimacy. This fight very often ends up in loss of satisfaction, loss of trust and loss of commitment in the long run (Nwamidi, 2023).

‎Socio-economic stability is the baseline on which emotional and relational well-being could thrive. When the couples achieve financial adequacy and social backing, they will be in a good position to maintain dedication and build resolute marriages. On the other hand, prolonged socio-economic stress is likely to destroy communication, trust and sense of purpose that bind marriage. 

‎This indicates that marital commitment is a multidimensional and multi faceted construct and is dependent on psychological, relational and contextual factors. Marital resilience offers an emotional system with the help of which couples deal with stress and continue to be affectionate, but socio-economic status offers structural support that would allow them to remain stable over time. Despite having different dimensions these constructs are interconnected and in resilience and the socio-economic security facilitate adaptation to socio-economic challenges and commitment in socio-economic security mitigates stress and promotes harmony. 

‎Though there is a lot of literature in different parts of the world, researches with the focus on the interaction of marital resilience, socio-economic status and commitment in the Nigerian context are limited. The cultural, economic and social peculiarities of Nigerian marriages require the practical research that would explain the impact of the factors on marital commitment. In this regard, the current research aims at sealing this gap by investigating how marital resilience and socio-economic status affect marital commitment among married people in Abeokuta North Local Government, Ogun State.

2.2 Theoretical Framework

‎The current study focuses on how the marital resilience and socio-economic status affect marital commitment among married couples who live in the Abeokuta North Local Government in Ogun State and is based on three major theoretical concepts: the Commitment Theory, the Family Stress Theory and the Ecological Systems Theory. The theories provide a unique and complementary point of view to explain how people are able to maintain commitment in the marital environment despite socio-economic and relationship pressures.

‎According to social psychologists like Stanley and Markman (1992), who developed the Commitment theory, commitment is a complex concept that involves individual devotion, social duty and institutional bonds which hold the partners responsible. The theory argues that commitment is not only an affective one but a decision to sustain a relationship in the long run and particularly in times of conflict or poverty. In the marital relationship, commitment is operationalized by regular effort, willingness to sacrifice as well as giving precedence to the long-term sustainability of the relationship rather than dissatisfaction in the short term. The theory also makes a difference between personal commitment, the internal motivation to be in a marital union because of love, satisfaction or shared values and constraint commitment which can be external factors discouraging separation. In Abeokuta North, where the family choices are significantly affected by the socio-economic realities, the theory helps in clarifying how the financial stability or the lack thereof, individual ambition and structural commitment impact on the marital perseverance.

‎Hill (1949) and later on, McCubbin and Patterson (1983) developed the Family Stress Theory; this approach explores how families respond to and adapt to stressful conditions. It assumes that stressors are economic hardship, job loss or relationship conflict, all of which put family stability at risk. Nevertheless, coping abilities and family resilience mediate the adverse impact of this stress. According to the model, resilience works as a buffer whereby it is through such a buffer that couples are able to constructively adapt to adversity and maintain their commitment to their marriage despite the external forces. In this research, Family Stress Theory provides a platform through which one can examine how socio-economic issues impact marital relationships. Married couples with high marital resilience are better placed to view stress as something manageable and employ adaptive coping strategies, thus protecting their commitment. This theoretical perspective is particularly relevant in the socio-economically non-homogeneous environments like Ogun State where the income change and other differences in living conditions are commonly tested in marriage relationships.

‎Ecological Systems Theory, as proposed by Bronfenbrenner (1979), is a complete perspective of human development and relational behavior that places individuals in a system of environmental nest which include microsystem, mesosystem, exosystem, macrosystem and chronosystem. In marital context, this theory argues that the commitment in marriage is only determined by the interpersonal factors but also the rest of the socio -economic and cultural context. Microsystem includes direct relationship between spouses, exosystem and macrosystem include factors like condition of the economy, cultural values and government policies which have indirect impact on marital stability. Marriage, religious beliefs and economic pressures in Abeokuta North are some of the cultural expectancies that influence marital resilience and commitment. Therefore, Ecological Systems Theory is offered as a holistic way to study an interplay between contextual variables (family values to socioeconomic structures) and individual resilience to support or undermine marital commitment.

‎Overall, the three theories can be contemplated as a combination that helps to understand the complex interconnection of individual factors, relational adaptability and environmental factors that influence marital commitment. The Theory of commitment presupposes psychological and structural attachments; The Family Stress Theory focuses on coping and other survival strategies and the Ecological Systems Theory expands the analytical scope to include socio-cultural and economic settings. They all make up an integrative design of examining how married people in Abeokuta North maintain dedication to socio-economic strains and the urgency of endurance in modern marital life.

3.1 Methodology

3.2 Research Design 

‎ The type of the research design that was used in the study was a descriptive survey research design of a correlational nature. The choice of design was informed by the fact that it allows one to investigate how variables correlate with one another without having to manipulate the variables. 

3.3 Study Population 

The sample of this study will be made up of the entire population of married people who live in Abeokuta North Local Government Area of Ogun State, Nigeria. 

3.4 Sample and Sampling Techniques 

A total of one hundred (100) married people were used as the sample. Stratified sampling was also implemented so that the representation of different socio-economic and demographic groups, including education, occupation, and income level were adequate. 

3.5 Research Instrument 

The researcher used a questionnaire as a data collection instrument, which had three standardised scales that were used to measure socio-economic status, marital resilience and marital commitment among married couples. 

Socio‑Economic Status Scale 

To determine socio-economic status of the participants, the Socioeconomic Status Scale was used (SeSS) created by Fehintola (2020). SeSS is in 4-point Likert scale with Strongly Disagree (1) and Strongly Agree (4) as the two extremes. Items are assessing different indicators of socio-economic status, such as education, occupation, income level, and access to resources (e.g., which type of transportation, how many dependents, and whether or not he/she has a home). The scale showed that it has high internal consistency with Cronbach alpha of 0.859. 

Marital Resilience Scale 

Marital resilience was measured with the help of the Couple Resilience Inventory (CRI), created by Sanford, Backer -Fulghum, and Carson (2016). The CRI measures both positive and negative relational behaviours on seven items by rating them on a 4-point Likert -type scale with Strongly Disagree (1) as the least positive and Strongly Agree (4) as the most positive. It is the adaptation and the staying of the couples in stressful situations. CRI has a two-dimensional factor structure and its Cronbach alpha of 0.90 assures of its reliability and internal consistency. 

Marital Commitment Scale 

Adams and Jones (1997) developed the Dimensions of Commitment Inventory (DCI) that was used to measure marital commitment. The DCI evaluates three variables, which are personal commitment, moral commitment and structural commitment. The rating of the items is conducted on the basis of 4-point Likert scale (Strongly Disagree = 1, Strongly Agree = 4). Adams and Jones developed reliability of the instrument in which, Cronbach alpha coefficients of personal commitment, moral commitment and structural commitment registered 0.91, 0.89 and 0.86 respectively, which imply high internal consistency.

3.6 Administration of the Research Instrument

‎The researcher handed out questionnaires and was helped out by trained research assistants. The respondents were also told the purpose of the study and were guaranteed anonymity of their responses. The data collection was done physically in the individual community centres and households within the Abeokuta North Local Government to ensure that the significant number of responses were collected.

‎3.7 Ethical Considerations 

‎Relevant institutional ethics committee  was consulted to grant the ethical approval. The participants were given informed consent beforehand. The research participants were promised anonymity, voluntary participation and the option to exit the study without having to be penalized. Data collected was highly confidential and was only used solely for the research.

3.8 Method of Data Analysis 

‎ The data analysis was done using SPSS version 27. Descriptive statistics including, frequency distributions and percentages were to summarise the demographic data. Inferential statistics was carried out at 0.05 significant level using Pearson Product-Moment Correlation (PPMC) and Multiple Regression Analysis.

4.1 Results

RQ1: Are there significant relationship Socio-economic status, Socio-economic Status and Marital Commitment among married individuals in Abeokuta North Local Government, Ogun state?

Table 1: Summary of correlation matrix showing the relationship between the study variables

VariablesMeanSD123
Marital Commitment26.172.571.000  
Socio-economic status20.92.67.295**1.000 
Marital Resilience25.32.73.628**S**1.000

The table 1 above reveals the inter-correlational matrix on relationship that exits among independent factors (Socio-economic status and Marital Resilience) and dependent factor (Marital Commitment) among married individuals in Abeokuta North Local Government, Ogun state; Socio-economic status (r =.295, p<0.05) and Marital Resilience (r =.628, p<0.05) had significant relationship to Marital Commitment among married individuals in Abeokuta North Local Government, Ogun state. This implies that Socio-economic status and Marital Resilience play a significant role on Marital Commitment among married individuals in Abeokuta North Local Government, Ogun state.

RQ2: What is the joint contribution of Socio-economic status and Marital Resilience to Marital Commitment among married individuals in Abeokuta North Local Government, Ogun state?

Table 2: Multiple Regression Analysis on Marital Commitment

RR SquareAdjusted R SquareStd. Error of the Estimate
0.6280.3950.3822.01735
    SUMMARY REGRESSION ANOVA
ModelSum of SquaresDfMean SquareFSig.
 Regression257.3512128.67531.618.001b
Residual394.759974.070  
Total652.11099   

Table 2 indicates that the independent variables (Socio-economic status and Marital Resilience) have joint effect on Marital Commitment among married individuals in Abeokuta North Local Government, Ogun state. The table shows a coefficient of multiple correlations (R) of 0.628 a multiple R2 of 0.395. This means that 38.2% (Adj. R2=0.382) of the variance in the Marital Commitment of married individuals in Abeokuta North Local Government, Ogun state is accounted for by the independent variables, when taken together. The table also showed that the analysis of variance for the regression yielded of F (31.618, p<0.05). The above present is significant at 0.05 level. This shows that there is joint contribution of  both Socio-economic status and Marital Resilience to the Marital Commitment of married individuals in Abeokuta North Local Government, Ogun state.

RQ3: What is the relative contribution of each of Socio-economic status and Marital Resilience to Marital Commitment among married individuals in Abeokuta North Local Government, Ogun state?

Table 3: Relative contribution of each of the independent factors to the prediction of Marital Commitment

Coefficientsa
ModelUnstandardized CoefficientsStandardized CoefficientstSig.
BStd. ErrorBeta
 (Constant)11.0442.069 5.338.000
Socio-economic status.581.083.6197.024.811
Marital Resilience.020.085.0210.240.001

The table 3 shows the relative contribution of each of the independent variables (Socio-economic status and Marital Resilience) to Marital Commitment among married individuals in Abeokuta North Local Government, Ogun state. The regression coefficient for Marital Resilience (β = .021, t= 0.240, p<0.05) indicates significant effect on Marital Commitment among married individuals in Abeokuta North Local Government, Ogun state. While the coefficient for Socio-economic status (β = .619, t= 7.024, p<0.05) also indicates relative contribution to Marital Commitment among married individuals in Abeokuta North Local Government, Ogun state. That is, factors such as Marital Resilience and Socio-economic status predict and determine Marital Commitment of married individuals in Abeokuta North Local Government, Ogun state.

4.2 Discussion

‎The results of this paper show that marital resilience and socio-economic status are major factors that are used to identify marital commitment among married people in Abeokuta North Local Government, Ogun State, Nigeria. Correlation analysis also indicated statistically significant positive relationship between marital resilience, socio-economic status and marital commitment. Most importantly, it was noted that marital resilience showed a stronger relationship compared to socio-economic factor meaning that the ability of couples to adjust to a crisis has a stronger impact on commitment as opposed to their socio economic status. This observation is not new since the study by Sanford et al. (2016) highlighted the importance of positive resilience behaviours to promote marital commitment.

Nevertheless, the results of regression analysis revealed that the combination of marital resilience and socio-economic status explain 38.2% of the variance in marital commitment ( Adj. R2 = 0.382). This means that these factors are statistically relevant but there are other external factors, which could also play a role in the commitment of marital e.g., cultural norms, extended family and personal values. Regression coefficients also indicated that socio- economic status has a stronger influence on marital commitment compared to marital resilience and this implies that despite the fact that resilience helps married couples to adapt to a poor situation, socio-economic status is a stronger predictor of long-term commitment. This shows that marital stress is lessened by high socio-economic status and it also improves the stability of marriages and leads to marital commitment among married people.

4.3 Conclusion

‎This study concludes that both marital resilience and socio-economic status significantly contribute to marital commitment. However, socio-economic status plays a more dominant role in determining how committed individuals remain in their marriages. Despite the importance of resilience counseling, the socio-economic status provides a stronger foundation for marital commitment in the context of this study. The study suggests the importance of  both emotional and financial preparedness before marriage to foster marital commitment. Although couples with higher levels of marital resilience are better equipped to handle marital stress, low socio-economic status may still impede marital commitment among married individuals in Nigeria. ‎Studies has shown how the influence of Socio-economic status on marital commitment has been the same in Denmark, Germany, Sweden, Finland and some other countries (Jalovaara, 2002). Socio-economic status has been shown to affect marital commitment according to some other research studies (e.g., Sassler, Addo and Lichter, 2012).

4.4 Recommendation

‎Based on the findings from this study, the following recommendations are suggested to Marriage Counselors and other stakeholders:

‎New Couples should be encouraged to engage in financial planning and have multiple sources of income to enhance their economic stability.

‎Government and NGOs should provide economic empowerment programs targeting married individuals to reduce the financial strain on families.

‎Marital Resilience Counseling should focus on developing positive coping mechanisms for marital challenges and fostering adjustments from each partner as a sign of commitment towards the marriage.

‎Religious and community groups should endeavour to set up marital resilience training in order to help couples especially newly wedded ones to build strong emotional bonds.

‎Engaged couples should undergo comprehensive pre-marital resilience counseling that covers both financial and emotional resilience in order to prepare their mind for any possible adversity that may arise to challenge the efforts of each individual in fostering Marital Commitment.

‎Marital commitment should be prevented by offering post marital resilience counselling to couples experiencing marital dissatisfaction or financial strain. 

The employers could also implement work-life balance policies, which are family-friendly policies, which boost marital stability. 

By focusing on both the economic and emotional aspects of marriage life at the same time, couples in Abeokuta North and other places will achieve greater marital fulfilment and long-term dedication.

‎

References

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Cheraey, L., Goudarzi, M. and Akbari, M. (2020). Comparison of the Effect of Imago Relationship Therapy and Feldman’s Integrated Approach on Marital Commitment in Conflicting Couples. Avicenna Journal of Neuro Psycho Physiology, 1–8. https://doi.org/10.32592/ajnpp.2020.7.1.100

‎Deniz, M. E. and Yozgat, U. (2013). The role of commitment in marital relationships: Psychological attachment and long-term orientation. Procedia – Social and Behavioral Sciences, 84, 606–611. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.sbspro.2013.06.617

‎Fehintola, J. O. (2020). Construction and validation of Socio-Economic Status Scale (SeSS). Ibadan Journal of Educational Studies, 18(2), 43-48. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/341966497_CONSTRUCTION_AND_VALIDATION_OF_SOCIO-ECONOMIC_STATUS_SCALE

‎Hill, R. (1949). Families under stress: Adjustment to the crises of war separation and reunion. New York, NY: Harper and Brothers. https://archive.org/details/dli.ernet.18276

‎Jalovaara M (2002). Socioeconomic Differentials in Divorce Risk by Duration of Marriage Demographic Research, 7, 537–564 https://doi.org/10.4054/DemRes.2002.7.16

‎McCubbin, H. I. and Patterson, J. M. (1983). The family stress process: The double ABCX model of adjustment and adaptation. In H. I. McCubbin, M. B. Sussman and J. M. Patterson (Eds.), Social stress and the family: Advances and developments in family stress theory and research (pp. 7–37). New York, NY: Haworth Press. https://doi.org/10.4324/9781315822429

‎‎Sanford, K., Backer-Fulghum, L. M., and Carson, C. (2016). Couple Resilience Inventory: Two dimensions of naturally occurring relationship behavior during stressful life events. Psychological Assessment, 28(10), 1243-1254. https://doi.org/10.1037/pas0000256

‎Sassler S, Addo FR and Lichter DT (2012). The Tempo of Sexual Activity and Later Relationship Quality. Journal of Marriage and Family, 74(4), 708–725. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2012.00996.x

‎Stanley, S. M. and Markman, H. J. (1992). Assessing commitment in personal relationships. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 54(3), 595–608. https://doi.org/10.2307/353245

Modern online dating: how user expectations have changed

Online dating has long ceased to be a novelty. Today, it is difficult to find someone who has never met someone online. At first, it was casual encounters on forums and social networks, then a targeted search for partners in special apps. Over the years, not only has the format of dating changed, but so have users’ expectations. Previously, they often relied on “chance”, and a beautiful photo and a few short phrases in a profile were enough to start a conversation. Today, users have become more discerning and conscious — they know exactly who they want to meet and why. And it is they who dictate the rules of online dating, not app developers.

What users expect in 2025

The main difference between today’s audience is a more conscious approach to choosing both a dating platform and a partner. People are no longer interested in just swiping; they want the acquaintance to continue in real life.

Here are the key expectations of modern users:

  • Authenticity. People want to see a real person in front of them, with their pros and cons. Photos that have been retouched beyond recognition are no longer attractive; on the contrary, they are repulsive. That is why developers are increasingly introducing the ability to see the other person live, for example, through video. This approach helps to avoid unpleasant surprises and mismatches between expectations and reality.
  • Quick transition to live communication. The pace of life has accelerated, and users no longer want to spend weeks chatting online, trying to figure out whether it is worth meeting in real life. More and more people are communicating via video to immediately assess how comfortable they are with each other and whether there is that special “chemistry”.
  • Simplicity. Users are tired of filling out questionnaires and don’t want to spend a lot of time creating a profile. That’s why services with the simplest possible interface are gaining popularity, where all you need to do to start communicating is press the “Start” button.
  • Security. People expect high-quality moderation and protection of personal data. This is a basic standard without which users do not want to stay on the platform. They want to be sure that their conversations are private, that their personal information is not used by third-party services, and that the risk of encountering fakes or bots is reduced to zero.

Video chats can meet all these expectations. And while the first chat roulettes were mainly used just to have fun, today such platforms are a full-fledged tool for finding a soul mate.

Why users choose video chats

The popularity of such services is a natural response to new needs. Today, people are less and less trusting of profiles that look too perfect. No one wants to waste their time communicating with fakes or people who are simply trying to pass off their desires as reality. The video format allows you to weed out such users in literally a few seconds. Platform moderators are interested in keeping them safe and comfortable. Therefore, they carefully monitor the atmosphere within and block anyone who violates the rules.

In addition, online video chats save time. There is no need to spend days on correspondence that may turn out to be useless. Most often, a short video conversation is enough to understand whether you want to continue communicating. After all, you see the person as they really are, without filters or masks. And while you can take time to “think” when writing, in video chats everything happens here and now. And you don’t have to guess the mood of the other person based on their writing style and emojis. Here, you can see their facial expressions, intonation, and gestures. And you can easily understand whether the person is interested in communicating or just keeping the conversation going out of politeness.

Another reason to use random video chat is the absence of swipes. More and more people are saying that they are tired of this format of dating. And this is not surprising, because sometimes all your free time is spent on swipes, and there is no time left to communicate. There is even a phenomenon known as the Netflix effect. Users endlessly scroll through profiles, trying to find the perfect candidate. And in the end, they never decide to start communicating with someone, because they are sure that somewhere out there on the internet there is someone better. In Kamchatka, communication begins immediately after connecting. The system selects conversation partners itself, and does so randomly. It is simply impossible to predict who will be on the other side of the screen. Therefore, in video chats, you can meet people you would never have met in real life or on the internet.

Platforms that deserve your attention

LuckyCrush is an online video chat that attracts users with its simplicity. There are no complicated settings: the interface is as intuitive as possible, and even a beginner can figure out how everything works. The platform allows you to choose the gender of your conversation partner and the language for comfortable communication. And if you don’t like the person, you can just click the “Next” button and the system will connect you with a new conversation partner in just a few seconds.

CooMeet.chat differs from LuckyCrushLive in that it has a gender filter, thanks to which men only communicate with women and vice versa. So if you’re interested in romantic encounters, this platform is what you need. In addition, every girl here must register and confirm her details. Therefore, the risk of encountering a fake or a bot is zero.

CooMeet.chat has other features that make communication more comfortable. For example, you can choose the language of communication and use the message translator if you decide to chat with a foreigner. Another interesting feature is Stories, which works the same way as on Instagram. You can record short videos or upload photos so that users can learn more about you before chatting. You can also view other people’s Stories. CooMeet.chat can be used on both a computer and a phone — in addition to the desktop version, there are convenient mobile apps for iOS and Android.

A new era of online dating

Modern dating apps are creating a new environment — one that is safer and more “lively”. The days when video chats were used by fakes and freaks are gradually becoming a thing of the past. Today, it is quite possible to find a soul mate on such platforms. The main thing is to be open to new acquaintances and not forget that on the other side of the screen are real people, not soulless avatars.

How to Build Social Relations: An Essay

Human beings are inherently social creatures. From the early days of civilization, people have sought connection and companionship. Social relationships are the threads that bind societies, support mental well-being, and enable personal and professional growth. In a world that is increasingly digital and fast-paced, building and maintaining meaningful social relations is more important—and sometimes more challenging—than ever before. This essay explores the key principles, approaches, and benefits of building strong social relationships.

Photo by Askar Abayev on Pexels.com

Understanding the Value of Social Relations

Social relationships encompass friendships, family ties, community bonds, and professional networks. These relationships fulfill emotional needs such as love, acceptance, and validation. They also play a critical role in reducing stress, combating loneliness, and improving overall health. Studies in psychology and sociology consistently highlight that people with strong social connections live longer, experience fewer health problems, and show greater resilience during times of crisis.

Principles for Building Social Relations

  1. Mutual Respect and Empathy
    The cornerstone of any healthy relationship is mutual respect. Empathy—the ability to understand and share the feelings of others—deepens this respect. By placing ourselves in others’ shoes and validating their experiences, we create a sense of trust and emotional safety.
  2. Effective Communication
    Clear, honest, and active communication is crucial. Listening attentively, expressing thoughts openly, and providing constructive feedback help prevent misunderstandings and strengthen bonds. Good communication is not just about talking; it is about listening and responding thoughtfully.
  3. Trust and Reliability
    Trust takes time to build but can be lost in moments. Being reliable—keeping promises, being consistent, and showing integrity—fosters trust in any relationship. Trust creates a solid foundation for openness and collaboration.
  4. Shared Interests and Values
    While differences can enrich relationships, shared interests and values often serve as bonding agents. Whether it’s a mutual love for art, similar professional goals, or aligned worldviews, common ground helps in forming lasting connections.
  5. Time and Effort
    Relationships don’t thrive by accident. They require intentional effort. Making time to meet, check in, celebrate milestones, or support someone in need shows that the relationship matters. In the digital age, even a message or a video call can reinforce social bonds.

Approaches to Strengthen Social Relations

  • Engage in Community Activities: Participating in clubs, volunteering, or attending social events introduces people with similar interests and promotes a sense of belonging.
  • Practice Kindness and Generosity: Small acts of kindness—offering help, giving compliments, or sharing resources—can have a profound impact on relationships.
  • Be Open-Minded and Accepting: No two individuals are alike. Embracing differences and avoiding judgment help create inclusive, respectful relationships.
  • Resolve Conflicts Constructively: Conflicts are natural in any relationship. The key is to address them calmly, listen to all sides, and seek mutually beneficial solutions.

Challenges in Building Social Relations

Despite the benefits, building social relationships comes with challenges. Social anxiety, cultural differences, lack of time, or past experiences can inhibit individuals from forming new bonds. Additionally, digital communication, while convenient, sometimes lacks the emotional depth of face-to-face interactions. Overcoming these challenges requires courage, self-awareness, and a willingness to be vulnerable.

The Role of Social Relations in Personal and Societal Well-being

Strong social relationships contribute not only to individual well-being but also to societal harmony. Communities with healthy social ties tend to be safer, more inclusive, and better able to solve common problems. At the workplace, good interpersonal relations improve teamwork, productivity, and job satisfaction.

Conclusion

Building social relations is a lifelong journey that requires effort, patience, and sincerity. It begins with self-awareness and extends to empathy and mutual respect. Whether through casual friendships or deep family ties, strong social relationships are vital for emotional fulfillment and societal cohesion. In a world that often emphasizes individual success, we must remember that true well-being lies not just in what we achieve alone but in the connections we nurture with others. Investing in relationships is, ultimately, investing in a more humane and connected world.

Sensory poem

A sensory poem describes a scene, an object, or an idea with vivid words that appeal to the five senses. It tells how the subject looks, feels, smells, tastes, and sounds.

Sensory poems are an excellent way to encourage children to experiment with using words to describe their senses, and in doing so bring their writing to life for others. Even the youngest children can have a go. A big advantage of sensory poems is that tend to come out very well, so they are good for boosting confidence!

Start by picking a season, holiday or event. Then brainstorm with the children what you might see, taste, smell, hear, feel. In a classroom setting, students might call out words and phrases to be written up on the board, or they can use one of our printables to capture their ideas.

Format of sensory poem

It’s usually written in the pattern mentioned below.

___(emotion) ___ is _____(colour)___.

It sounds like _________.

It tastes like___________.

It smells like __________.

____(Emotion)____feels like.

Here are some of my writings what I have peneed.

It’s a great work inking your thoughts,a composition in verse, especially one that is characterized by a highly developed artistic form and by the use of heightened language and rhythm to express an intensely imaginative interpretation of the subject.

SELF LOVE

Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. Self-love means having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. Self-love means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others. Self-love means not settling for less than you deserve. Self-love means accepting yourself as you are in this very moment for everything that you are. It means accepting your emotions for what they are and putting your physical, emotional and mental well-being first.

Loving yourself doesn’t mean you think you’re the smartest, most talented, and most beautiful person in the world. Instead, when you love yourself you accept your so-called weaknesses, appreciate these so-called shortcomings as something that makes you who you are. When you love yourself you have compassion for yourself.

It can mean:

  • Talking to and about yourself with love
  • Prioritizing yourself
  • Giving yourself a break from self-judgement
  • Trusting yourself
  • Being true to yourself
  • Being nice to yourself
  • Setting healthy boundaries
  • Forgiving yourself when you aren’t being true or nice to yourself

To practice self-care, we often need to go back to the basics and

  • Listen to our bodies
  • Take breaks from work and move/stretch.
  • Put the phone down and connect to yourself or others, or do something creative.
  • Eating healthily, but sometimes indulge in your favorite foods.

WAYS TO PRACTICE SELF LOVE

  1. Start each day by telling yourself something really positive. How well you handled a situation, how lovely you look today. Anything that will make you smile.
  2. Fill your body with food and drink that nourishes it and makes it thrive.
  3. Move that gorgeous body of yours every single day and learn to love the skin you’re in. You can’t hate your way into loving yourself.
  4. Don’t believe everything you think. There is an inner critic inside of us trying to keep us small and safe. The downside is this also stops us from living a full life.
  5. Surround yourself with people who love and encourage you. Let them remind you just how amazing you are.
  6. Stop the comparisons. There is no one on this planet like you, so you cannot fairly compare yourself to someone else. The only person you should compare yourself to is you.
  7. End all toxic relationships. Seriously. Anyone who makes you feel anything less than amazing doesn’t deserve to be a part of your life.
  8. Celebrate your wins no matter how big or small. Pat yourself on the back and be proud of what you have achieved.
  9. Step outside of your comfort zone and try something new. It’s incredible the feeling we get when we realize we have achieved something we didn’t know or think we could do before.
  10. Embrace and love the things that make you different. This is what makes you special.
  11. Realize that beauty cannot be defined. It is what you see it as. Don’t let any of those Photoshopped magazines make you feel like your body isn’t perfect. Even those models don’t look like that in real life.
  12. Take time out to calm your mind every day. Breathe in and out, clear your mind of your thoughts and just be.
  13. Follow your passion. You know that thing that gets you so excited but scares you at the same time. The thing you really want to do but have convinced yourself it won’t work. You should go do that!
  14. Be patient but persistent. Self-love is ever evolving. It’s something that needs to be practiced daily but can take a lifetime to master. So be kind and support yourself through the hard times.
  15. Be mindful of what you think, feel and want. Live your life in ways that truly reflect this.

Rabindranath Tagore’s Chandalika

Self consciousness, up to a point, is necessary to self development;for without an awareness of the dignity of one’s own role or function, one cannot give one’s best to the world.

The above, are the lines from one of the most underrated dramas of Rabindranath Tagore, in the world of literature – Chandalika. A drama with a lots of love, compassion, over compassion, feeling of inferiority, new birth, and culmination of great teachings of Buddha. This drama has a vast history and has been portrayed over centuries as a musical drama, music to give more life to it, and make the audience understand the intensity of the emotions that the protagonists carry in themselves, during the play.

Themes –

A religion that insults is a false religion. Everyone united to make me conform to a creed that blinds and gags. But since that day something forbids me to conform any longer. I’m afraid of nothing now.

The story that is revealed in the plot is all about discovering new dimensions of life, as well as, discovering one’s inner self. Readers also come across new experiences of life through the characters themselves, in each and every scene that is being played on. Set in an old city of Shravasti, in the then Uttar Pradesh, the story has to offers many aspects of human approaches, such as, over obsession for something can be as disastrous as gulping poison. Another aspect of the play is discovered through the act of quenching thirsty Buddhist monk, that proves to be a kind of “rebirth” for a girl who is meant to be untouchable. The presence of the mother is a cue of saying that, one should not step out of the boundaries that are set by the religion and society for any person living on this earth. Rebellion against the wall of system and society, is another thing that is portrayed by the drama. The presence of a Buddhist monk in the play, rejuvenates it, bringing whole of a new sense to the play, teachings of Buddha, determination towards life and bringing up the best of a person, is that converts it into a multi dimensional and psychological drama of intense spiritual conflict. Finally, turning into a sort of redemption, along with self realisation, the drama yet has a tale to tell, that –

Love does not claim possession, but it gives freedom.

Introducing the characters –

Chandalika, as the name suggests, is about a chandal girl belonging to the lowest untouchable caste, who gives water to a beautiful monk and falls for him. Unable to restrain herself, she made her mother chant the spells and bound him to be presented at their house at night. Filled with lust and sensitivity, the character of Prakriti portrays the nature’s qualities, she is aggressive, ready to make sacrifices, adorably tolerant, love excessively, mostly alike our mother nature. The story is not of a wicked girl roused to lust by the physical beauty of the monk, but of a very sensitive girl, condemned by her birth to a despised caste, suddenly awakened to a consciousness of her full rights as a woman.

Anand, the famous disciple of Buddha, is a monk in a real sense, pure, loved all the creatures of the world, spread the enlightenment, and victim of the lust of a girl, who unknowingly, is put to remorse and shame.

Symbolizing the social evils prevailing in the society, in the contemporary time, Prakriti’s mother, is yet another character of the play, who, unfortunately had to pay heavy price of her daughter’s love, by giving sacrificing every nerve and cell of her body. She is, as protective, as every other mother ever lived on this earth. At the same time, preventing her to not to claim such a pure soul, Anand, as her’s.

The plot –

For wisdom is not happiness, and renunciation is not fulfilment.

Forgotten that I was a human being, these words always pinched Prakriti’s ears for many years, when one day in vaisakh, she, sitting under the blistering sun was introduced to a person in town, whom she could only think to be standing some fifty feets apart from “a girl, as she. ” It is, Anand, the monk, pure as heaven, beautiful,englitened, who has renounced the earthly leisures, approaches her to quench his thirst. But, being a Chandal, Prakriti was bound not to offer him water from a lake as unpure as herself, on which he laments, and speaks to her, if the black clouds of sravana are dubbed chandal, what of it? It doesn’t change their nature, or destroy the virtue of their water. Don’t humiliate yourself;self humiliation is a sin, worse than self murder. It is when comes twist in the tale, she is revealed to a new birth of herself and is determined to bring him back to her, and discover a cherish her new birth with herself.

Hearing this from Prakriti’s own mouth, her mother is shaken up and thinks that somebody has chant some spell over her. She is awestruck by the idea of her talking of the humanism, caste, and want for the monk. Not ready to listen to her mother, Prakriti wants the monk back, by hook or by crook, that could be achieved when the mother chants her spell over him, and call him off straight to her place. The mother rebels and protests against this idea of her, saying, we only churn up the mud, his power is much more greater than hers, and by chanting spell over him, she can commit a great sin.

The utmost desire to have the monk right next to her is unshakable, and being the only loveable daughter of her, the mother is bound to chant the magic spells. She makes her prepare all the stuff that is required to fulfill the strength of the words, and giving her a magic mirror, tells her to be attentive of the paththat Anand will choose to come over here. Magically, her spells worked out, but in a different manner, though Anand came all the way to her house, without any second thought, but his radiance withered, the shining, the purity, the heavenly glow, all gone, faded, destroyed to pieces. Also, her mother was exhausted till now, she was lying on the floor, counting last of her breath,as overpowering such a majestic personality was a difficult task to do.

It was the time when Prakriti again realised, was awakened to life, that she has committed a sin, redeemed for the second time, purged of the pride and egoism that had made her forget that love does not claim possession, but gives freedom. Also, the holy monk is taken back into his earlier state by the powers of The Buddha.

The drama is a delight to the readers, a tragedy with a lot of teachings and morals to tell. Self redemption, obsession, realization, rebirth, it is a bunch of great dialogues, that takes the reader into in itself.

Philosophical meaning of “LOVE”

Love is the most powerful emotion a human being can experience. The strange thing is, almost nobody knows what love is. Why is it so difficult to find love? That is easy to understand, if you know that the word “love” is not the same as one’s feeling of love.

“The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard,but must be felt with the heart” – Hellen Keller

What great Philosophers say about Love?

Aristotle : Of the classic ideas on love, for Aristotle , none of this love and friendship is attainable without first achieving self-love. The good person must be a self-lover, for he himself will profit from doing fine things, and he will benefit the others.

Sadhguru :
When you talk about love, it has to be unconditional. There is really no such thing as conditional love and unconditional love. It is just that there are conditions and there is love. The moment there is a condition, it just amounts to a transaction. Maybe a convenient transaction, maybe a good arrangement – maybe many people made excellent arrangements in life – but that will not fulfill you; that will not transport you to another dimension. It is just convenient.
When you say “love,” it need not necessarily be convenient; most of the time it is not. It takes life. Love is not a great thing to do, because it eats you up. If you have to be in love, you should not be. You as a person must be willing to fall, only then it can happen. If your personality is kept strong in the process, it is just a convenient situation, that’s all. We need to recognize what is a transaction and what is truly a love affair. A love affair need not be with any particular person; you could be having a great love affair, not with anybody in particular, but with life.

Simpne de Beauvoir : “The reciprocal recognition of two freedoms” Beauvoir’s thought on love is between authentic and inauthentic love. For her, loving inauthentically is an existential threat. When we believe that love will complete us, or when we lose ourselves in our beloved, we erase ourselves as independent beings. This is what de Beauvoir called loving in bad faith. In her society, men were encouraged much more than women to have interests and ambitions outside of their relationships, with the result that women were especially vulnerable to the dangers of inauthentic love.
Authentic love, on the other hand, involves partnerships in which both parties recognize each others’ independence, and pursue aims and interests outside of their relationship. Authentic love must be based on “reciprocal recognition of two freedoms”. This means that neither partner is subordinate to the other, nor takes all of their meaning from their love for that partner. Instead, each is an independent whole who freely chooses the other anew with every day without trying to possess them entirely.

Bell Hooks :
In All About Love: New Visions (2000) , she argues that our modern definition of love is too watered down by overuse of the word. Working from the idea that love is a verb, she then suggests ways to improve our modern concept of love and prevent what hinders it. She notes with a fervor that power discrepancies and the differences in how men and women are expected to approach love are a particular problem.

“The fear of being alone, or of being unloved, had caused women of all races to passively accept sexism and sexist oppression.” — Ain’t I a Woman? (1981)

Jean – Paul Sartre :
Sartre and Simone De Beauvoir had, quite possibly, the most famous open relationship of all time. Sartre first proposed the idea in a letter: “What we have is an essential love; but it is a good idea for us also to experience contingent love affairs.”
Sartre wrote extensively on love, especially in terms of the tension between freedom and objectivity, and seemed to struggle with the idea throughout his entire relationship. True love, Sartre felt, can come to fruition when both partners have a deep, mutual respect for the other’s freedom and resist the desire to “possess” each other as objects. For him, if all romantic relationships centered on the idea of ownership, there would be little room for introspection. Wrapped up in the pursuit of love is the idea that we are not only seeking a partner, but deeper insight into ourselves. Put more plainly: We’re looking for the “other half,” the “being” to our “nothingness.” Either way, Sartre got a whole lot of insight, especially for a guy with an oddly shaped head and a lazy eye.

“Love asks me no questions, and gives me endless support – William Shakespeare”

UNDER THE CHERRY BLOSSOM

Gentle breeze brush the blush tint of petals away from my face

Whilst I peeped from behind to find warm brown eyes greeting me

that eternal lingering fuzzy feeling lasts when you shyly look away

I prettied myself, neck adorned with lace

As I flicked through that worn out diary, out of curiosity

Your loving glance, a sigh escapes me

Tenderly, I reached out only to catch falling cherry blossoms

First springs of the month, the sky doused in love splashed with hued pink

The cackle of geese, the babble of relentless joy once hushed come the sedentary winters

Now in full bloom like the cherry blossoms in their own merry and gay has said to intertwine lover’s fate

Blessed be they who catch the first spring petals believing with their heart’s content

The sun dips low the artist changes palette

Wondering how lonesome  the night would feel  when all in deep slumber

As I take my time to proceed I make no haste

I flick open the cap and pour my soju as I disguise my distaste of the stinging taste

It douses a fire I convince myself as my Id overpowers my ego

Night after night the streetlamp flickers but I always seem to search for those bright eyes

In the dead of the night what madness one must wonder but I am relentless

The hush of the trees and the whispering breeze gives me company

As the night starts to get chilly I wrap my comforter tightly

Hurrying home, wistfully thinking if only I could cajole you into accompanying me

Wrapped in my arms caressing you tenderly, drifting to sleep  the lullaby of sweet melody

Amidst the chaotic mornings, your hungry eyes still find mine ever awaiting eagerly

Day after day my clouded thoughts jumbled with the yearning for you fuels my growing impatience

My perseverance grows thin as I flip through my worn out diary

Under the cherry blossom tree

I cannot reach out, nor touch thee

Not until I could take you home, your beseeching eyes call to me

One melancholic morning you come bounding on all four

I stroke you lovingly digging my fingers in your soft coat as I smell deeply your puppy scent

It fills my nose as I shower you with kisses and bounce you happily

Taking one last look at the cherry blossoms we sway lightly and tread softly

Back home.

ANOUSHKA MUKHERJI

The poem wishes to express the heartfelt bonding between a woman and a dog who have just met. Coincidentally both of them are suffering from bouts of loneliness and thus keep each other company thereby developing a beautiful relationship. This poem conveys how human interactions are not always necessary for curing loneliness through companionship. The woman at first doubts and hesitates if she will be able to take proper responsibility for the dog and delays making a decision. Nevertheless, we see her bravely forgoing all her unnecessary dilemmas and finally taking the dog back home with her.

 

If death strikes before I prove my blood,i swear i”ll kill death….

A soldier is a one who fights as a part of an army for the nation.A soldier can be conscripted or volunteer enlisted person a non -commissioned officer, or an officer.A soldier is a pride of the nation he defends the honour of his mother land with his life and blood.He has to rise above his own self to defend his nation .His profession bring best quality in him like chivalry, discipline, team spirit, loyalty,pro-active news, stead fastness.The life of soldier is very tough and full of discipline they are physically and mentally strong they are pro-active in order to face any battle.His performance in the threaters of war has been heroic and daring.He is the finest spiceman of humanity who is given supreme sacrifice of his life for the lives of his countrymen. He has to bear the tryannies of nature and in thunder lightning, or rain, extreme hot or cold ,in deserts mountains or seas , day and night fight continuosly for the know of his nation.He has to sacrifice his family life, he has to stay away from his children only to protect and save life of every citizen.His life is based on “”selflessness” and “sacrifice”.A soldier is the watchdog of the nation and is ready to perform any duty with which may entrusted,even at cost of his life.Their’s not to make reply, there’s but to do and die.

15 Date Ideas that you can do at home during lockdown

Yes, you heard it all right. I am here with yet another article to make love blossom between you and your partner. With the nationwide lockdown still going on, we presumed that there might have been a temporary hault to the intimacy & romance because you can’t step out for fancy dinner dates or weekend getaways. It must be frustrating since the summers are already here and you just can’t travel. But as they say, Love isn’t just about all fancy and over-the-top things but it is more of those little gestures which make your hearts beat faster for each other because the fairytale has to end one day and the normal life would soon commence so why not try getting used to it from now only by taking pleasure in simple joys of life.
So no more worries when we are here to the rescue.
Here below are enlisted 15 Budget Friendly Date Ideas that you can do at home and keep the romance brewing. So what’s the waiting for? Let’s get started…

1) A DATE IN THE GARDEN
Oh yes who would have thought that planting saplings together could turn out to be so romantic and eco-friendly. If you don’t think so, go try it out for yourself. You can sneak cute, lovable glances while you plant the sapling together, hands closely intact in mud as if solidifying the bond between you two. And if you’re more of a naughty one, try throwing off the mud on your partner and notice the magic of love and romance taking over you.
Make an effort to water the plant together each day and watch your love grow alongwith the plant.

2) A DATE IN THE SHOWER
All you need is to get your bathrobe on and your partner in his towel. You can sway your hips to some romantic music together and embrace each other under the shower. A glass of wine and rose petals would be like an icing over the cake. Typically bollywood na? Still sounds just oh-so-romantic!

3) A DATE IN THE KITCHEN
Tired of cooking everyday with no domestic help available  given the current circumstances? Bring that guy along into the kitchen who vowed to stand by your side always and then cook something special or maybe experiment on an altogether new recipe. What could be more romantic than putting flour onto each other, tasting the food through each other’s fingers and savouring the taste of LOVE with some nice music playing at the background!

4) A DATE ON THE TERRACE
Thanks to the Indian daily soaps that I don’t need to brief you about this one. I am sure everyone of you is well aware of how the decorations should be, the type of music, the outfits and the couple dance steps. Lastly imagine self-cooked dinner being fed to each other, gazing at the twinkling stars in the bespangled sky and then ending the night in each other’s arms. Ohh! How romantic!

(To be continued…)