The silhouettes of my dreams
your lingering presence, a faint smell of ecstasy
an enigmatic memory, a nagging remembrance
your honeyed words and scented presence, my thoughts still reek of
your disheartening essence
My body yearns for your sweet gentle caresses
but my mind has grown weary of your wicked ways
Of your abhorrent reassurances and unfaithful eyes
my heart has crumpled from so many scars
creating an endless, endless abyss
Those moth-eaten letters mean nothing to me, because you still live,
in the chasm of my memory
losing all sense of humanity and bonding with ingenuity
You lost me the day you dashed, making a run for the sun dipped skyline
your melancholic memory now a mere distress
and thoughts filled with the agony that now I must let rest
For now, I know you no more to remember you
As my mother
ANALYSIS
The poem is set on a somber note where the poet is remembering her mother and at the same time berates her for abandoning her. At a very early age, the poet’s mother leaves her and now only some essence of her is left in her memory. Although the memory is of happier times, of her mother’s sweet presence, of her honeyed voice, it is still painful for the poet to remember all of this. The poet is having conflicting thoughts, whether she should hold on to her memories of her mother or let go as it is still crystal and still painful for her. The letters that her mother left her now means nothing to her as it is a reminder to her that she is not coming back. Because she was deceived by her mother and her unfaithful reassurance, that she doesn’t believe her anymore. This poem shows the thin bond shared by a mother and her daughter and how abandonment caused such great pain and scarred the poet lasting a lifetime. Repetition is used to emphasize each memory and the mood of the poet in the present as she is recounting her old memories. At first, the poet could not come to terms with the fact that her mother had left her and so she was always in a state of restlessness and anxiety, always waiting for her return but when she slowly started to grow up and started accepting the fact that her mother was to coming back, those melancholic memory change to distressing ones and now the word mother brings a bad taste to her mouth as it opens up fresh wounds. The poem is set on a beautiful yet sad background as the memories are beautiful yet a painful remembrance. The poet has personified the pages of the letters that the mother used to send to the poet. Like forgetting a painful past, the poet must also let go of any love left for her mother that she still holds and must not dwell on her past. The concluding lines of the poem shows how the poet is coping up with the after-effects of finally forgetting her mother.
International Journal of Research (IJR) 